


Reckoning

by Elenduen



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Fatherly Sisko, Follow on from Civil Defence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mildly Xenophobic Miles O'Brien, Suicide Attempt, Vengeful Garak, hurt julian, rape/non con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:59:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10598280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenduen/pseuds/Elenduen
Summary: A follow up from the episode Civil DefenceInstead of just leaving after exchanging insults and threats with Garak while being stuck on the station trying to defuse the self destruct sequence Dukat stays for several more hours and exacts revenge upon Garak by abducting and brutalizing Julian.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My very first DS9 fic so please be kind. I've been a treky fan for years (Though I can't stand the new movies) but I've only recently been watching DS9 and Voyager on Netflix and have really gotten into the Bashir/Garak ship.
> 
> After watching Civil Defence I couldn't imagine Dukat leaving without exacting some kind of revenge against Garak for humiliating him like that and using an innocent to hurt Garak seems like what Dukat would do. 
> 
> PS Does anybody know where I can post Julian/Garak prompts?, I don't have Tumblr or Facebook.

Five hours earlier

 

"Maybe you two could settle this at another time?" Major Kira snapped at the two Cardassians who were all but ripping each others throats out!

"You're right Major" Dukat said with a glare to a smirking Garak "But believe me that time is coming" he added his eyes narrowing as he glanced to the Doctor who had immediately tried to leap to Garaks defense when he had thought he was about to be vaporized by the devise currently erupting from the replicator "And maybe it'll come sooner than you think" he almost purred as a devious scheme began to grow in his reptilian brain.

 

Present time 

 

After disabling the self destruct sequence and saving the station repairs began immediatly, Dr Julian Bashir had several patients to treat who'd been injured by the forcefields and from being knocked around when they'd chanelled the self destruct blast into the deflectors.

Tired and more than ready to go and get something to eat he finished up with his last patient and checked once more on Jadzia Dax to ensure her hands were healing in ReGen before he headed to his quarters to get a quick meal from the replicator.

Normally he'd have headed to the promenade and gone to one of the resturants there but since Dukat had decided to give him men "Shore leave" and remain on the station for a few hours he opted to go straight to his quarters having had all he could stand of the obnoxious Gul for one day.  
Clearly there was some bad history between the former prefect of Bajor and Elim Garak but what it was Julian didn't know and didn't intend to ask Garak since trying to get a straight answer from him was like trying to get blood from a stone!, in fact he'd probably have more success with the latter than the former!.

He smiled a little at the thought of the mysterious Cardassian who loved to wreath himself half truths and obfiscation, they had grown closer since the incident with the device in Garaks brain. Garak had addmitted after a glass or two too many of Kannar that he was deeply impressed and very moved by the Doctors devotion to him during that terrible time and especially the risk that Julian had taken by going into Cardassian space to find Enabran Tain save Garaks life.

There were also the lingering glances, the more meaningful touches that were passing between them, so far they hadn't gone any further than that but Julian was sure that Garak was flirting as much with him as he was with Garak.

Julian had never had experiance with a male before, he'd had a few crushes in his adolesence as most kids do on older men and women, the closest he'd ever come was a drunken fumble while at college that had resulted in messy kissing and a couple of hand jobs. 

He'd never really given much thought to what it would be like to be with a man and certainly not with a Cardassian!, but now he was thinking of it more and more and was finding himself rather keen to find out exactly what it would be like to be with Garak.

Would Garak be gentle and take his time wooing him or would he be savage and brutal in his passions?, both were equally as appealing and Julian couldn't say that he was as worried as he maybe should have been at the thought of being at Garaks mercy which owing to the superior strength of the Cardassian he would most certainly be.

Grinning to himself he opened the door to his quarters and stepped inside not noticing that anything was off until the blow had already come to the back of his head, then all he knew was darkness until he was waking up in what felt like a oven while being observed by Dukat.

 

Groaning and feeling like his head might split open Julian shifted from where he had been laying on the floor of what was probably the Dukats private quarters above what was clearly his ship. 

The dim lighting, oppressive heat, and architexture were all Cardassian, while he'd been stationary Julian was still drenched in sweat and the high tempreture was doing nothing for his throbbing headache, nore was Dukat's impenetrable gaze doing anything to make him feel comfortable, not that could possibly be comfortable considering the circumstances.

"Well Doctor I was beginning to think you'd never wake up!, you've been laying there for over two hours without any signs of awakening" Dukat said smirking in that oily way of his 

Two hours?, he must have one hell of a concussion to have been unconscious so long, swallowing hard Julian blinked trying to clear his vision which wasn't easy considering the low lighting in the Cardassian ship  
"Why have you brought me here?" he asked Dukat trying to keep any fear out of his voice "What d'you want from me?"

"You?, nothing really" Dukat said standing up and walking towards him making Julian lean back he would have tried to get to his feet but his head was still spinning so much he doubted he could have stood without falling to the ground, instead he leaned back as much as he could as Dukat crouched before him leering at him   
"What I want is to even the odds with that misrable serpent of a tailor of yours, and this is best way to do so"

Julian frowned clearly he was missing something, "You think kidnapping me is going to even some sort of score between you and Garak?" 

"Kidnapping you?" Dukat chuckled "Oh no, my dear Doctor that was simply to get you off the station, you see some "Crimes" your Federation believe in prosecuting don't apply on Cardassian ships which they would on Federation property, the sodomizing of an alien for instance means nothing to Cardassian government!".

 

Now Julian was moving, damn how dizzy he was, damn how much his head hurt he was getting the hell out of there right now and away from this lunatic Cardassian!, he tried to make a lunge for the door but Dukat was faster and he found himself flung against the opposite wall with such force three of his ribs broke along with his left wrist as he hit the floor.

Fighting tears and grunting with pain Julian tried to rise but a scaled hand wrapped about the back of his neck and he was flung forward onto his belly knocking the wind from him again and leaving him totaly defenseless as Dukat pounced on him tearing his uniform open to bear his back and torso as it ripped down the sleeves seems and at the neck down the front  
"No!" Julian cried out trying to crawl away to escape the cruel hands that were intent on harming him but from Dukat their was no escape and claw like nails and razor sharp teeth sank into the exposed flesh of his back and neck drawing blood as they tore into him!.

Flailing with his arms and legs Julian managed to hit Dukat on his neck ridge with his right elbow knocking the Cardassian back slightly giving himself a chance to attempt an escape again only to have his ankle seized in a merciless grip and he was yanked back and the flipped over only his torn back as Dukat straddled him and back handed his face so hard his nose broke and both lips burst 

"I might have been more gentle had you not fought so much Doctor" the Gul hissed at him "But as it is you have earned the full force of my wrath!"

"Fuck you!" Julian spat spitting blood into Dukats face only to see stars again as his face was hit once more, then the hateful hands were on his torso, his belly scratching, marking, and cutting into his skin as they worked down to his trousers.....

"NO!", ignoring the pain he was in Julian tried to fight off Dukat's hands as they tore at his uniform trousers desperately he struggled trying to get his legs free so he could kick and tried to get hold of Dukat's wrists to stop him but his trousers like his shirt tore open easily with Cardassian strength and his simple cotton boxers were no match either.

Shoving his way between Julian's thighs so hard it was a wonder his hips were dislocated by force Dukat brutally hauled Julian's pelvis up onto his thighs and with a simple unzipping of his flies he bared his errect cock and thrust inside Julians body making the young Doctor scream in pain as he felt his flesh rip open at the intrustion.

Cold hard hands wrapped about his wrists and his throat making breathing almost impossible as Dukat brought his full weight down on top of him and then Julian nearly passed out as he began to move, in fact unconsciousness would have been blessing in comparison to this!. 

Tears were rolling down his reddened cheeks as he could hear ever pulse of blood that passed by his ears as Dukat thrust in and out of him making sure to make it as painful and brutal as he could with each bone crushing thrust.

How long past Julian didn't know, but it felt like an eternity that he was pinned there on the ships floor being raped by the Gul who as his climax approached took hold of Julian's cheek in his teeth and bit down into the flesh drawing blood and actually sucking on it as he came inside the Doctors body.

Panting heavily Dukat pulled back and rose up off Julian's battered body laughing at the blood pouring down the young mans thighs as Julian curled up into a fetal position coughing and crying silently.

Picking up Julians torn shirt he wiped his cock clean upon it then flung it at Julian who shuddered as it fell onto his flank, "Pathetic" Dukat sneered going to his control pannel and pushing a button which summoned a guard in "Take that back through the air lock and dump on Terok Nor, we are finished with our business here" he commanded 

"Yes Sir" the Guard said, he marched over to Julian and grabbed hold of him by his broken wrist caring nothing for the cry of anguish the action brought from Julian and hauled him to his feet dragging him from Dukats room 

"Do give my regaurds to Garak won't you Doctor!" Dukat called after him with a sadistic laugh as he opened a com channel to the tailor in question.

 

Garak rarely received comunications from anyone so when his panel lit up he answered more out of curiosity than anything else and grit his teeth as Dukat's hateful face appeared on the screen   
"Ah Garak having a pleasent evening I trust?"

"I was until now" Garak replied sourly making Dukat laugh "What d'you want?" he demanded 

"Want? oh I don't want anything now I already have my satisfaction" Dukat crowed making Garak tense "I've also left you something to remember me by at airlock three, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to pass on my regards to you!"

"Dukat!" Garak snarled but the Gul cut off the chanel leaving him staring at a blank screen, wasting no time Garak turned and ran heading straight of airlock three his cool Cardassian blood pounding fast in his veins in fearful anticipation of what he was going to find waiting for him there. 

In his years during the Obsidian Order he had seen some truly horrific things had in fact done some horrific things but nothing could have adequately prepared him for the sight of Julian Bashir staggering through the air lock naked, covered in injuries, and collapsing in huddled ball sobbing and hugging his chest with a trail of blood streaking out behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

For a moment Garak couldn't speak, the impotent rage he felt towards Dukat was surging in his chest and making the blood pound in his temples while his heart and throat constricted with grief and horror at what lay before him.

His Doctor, his only real friend in this place, the strangely intriguing boyish human who had made the small parts of his otherwise cold heart feel warmth and the stirrings of desire that went beyond the phyiscal was now sat crumpled before him battered, torn up, bitten, and bleeding from.............one glance at his blood soaked thighs and Garak knew where he was bleeding from and what had caused him to bleed like that.

Taking a deep breath Garak forced down his rage for the time being and slowly, cautiously approached Julian "Doctor?" he asked as gently as he could feeling his anger towards Dukat growing all the more as Julian flinched and huddled into himself tighter.

"Doctor it's alright you're safe now" Garak said crouching down before Julian who shook his head 

"It's not alright, it'll never be alright!" Julian whispered finally lifting his head to look at Garak with haunted tear filled eyes "What he did......what.....I can't....." he broke off shaking his head and pressing his bleeding lips together

"Doctor........Julian I know what Dukat has done and while I can't take back what he has done I can and I will help you now"

"There is no helping me" Julian whispered 

"There is" Garak firmly stated "I'm going to take you to the infirmary......"

"No no!" Julian cried desperately "I can't see anyone I can't.......if they.....no...." his breathing quickened to the point that he was on the verge of hyperventilating and his hysteria prompted Garak to reach out and try to take hold of him causing Julian to react and back away from him in terror

"Julian I won't hurt you" Garak protested 

"I know I just....I can't....I can't bear to be touched" Julian said his voice horse "I just....I....don't know what to do" he whispered "I feel so......helpless and ashamed"

Garak swore that if he ever got his hands on Dukat again he would gut him slowly for doing this to the innocent Doctor, but that could wait right now Julian needed medical attention and support not rage so Garak swallowed back his anger again and extended a hand to the Doctor making sure to keep some distance so as not to frighten him again.

"I know I can't understand what you are going through right now but I do know that Dukat wanted you to be ashamed and broken to hurt me, and while he has succeeded in hurting us both he will not succeed in breaking you, I will not allow it!", taking a breath he inched forward a little more "What Dukat did to you this day was unbelievably cruel and disgusting I know, he hurt you in the worst possible way and took pleasure in it, but let that be the only pleasure he gets!, do not give him the pleasure of having destroyed you, fight back now!, come with me to the infirmary and have your injuries treated and do not allow yourself to be defeated by a worthless excuse of a Cardassian!"  
Maybe it was the force commanding tone that Garak used or maybe it was that spark of defience that still burned inside Julian and refused to give into despair that got him rising unsteadily to his feet and allowing Garak to draw him out of the air lock and wrap his hastily undone tunic about the Doctor to preserve his modesty.

Luckily after the day they'd had the promenade was quiet allowing Garak to stear Julian to the infirmary without anyone spotting them, however when they entered the Infirmary their good fortune on having privacy ended.

 

As Dax was having to spend the night in the infirmary with her hands in ReGen Sisko had gone to check on her and was still present when Garak brought Julian in.

"Oh my God" Dax whispered paling at the sight of the Doctor while the Bajoran nurses who were on night shift set down whatever it was they were doing to see to the Doctor

"What the hell happened?" Sisko demanded moving away from the bed Dax was laying and approaching the pair which made Julian immediately flinch back 

"Ah Commander I think it would be best if you kept your distance right now" Garak said guiding Julian to the nearest Bio-bed and helping him lay down as the two thankfully female Bajoran nurses began to take readings and examin his injuries, the elder of the two met Garak's eyes her expression one of deep fury that was mingled with a haunted grief of a dark past she had obviously been trying to leave behind.

No doubt she had been one of the many victims of rape during the occupation of Bajor. Garak had never understood why so many of the Guls and Glins felt a desire to commit such an act, he understood the need for sexual release, gratification, but rape?, to Garak such a crime always said far more of the actual assailant than the victim, it showed the culprit for what he was, a brutal coward and a twisted sadist who was incapable of expressing himself through any means other than vile acts of violence against another.

He had heard some say it was the power they enjoyed in the act, getting power over the Bajoran who was unfortunate enough to cross their path, Garak knew everything their was to know about gaining power over someone, breaking their will and getting control of them and he also knew that rape was not the best method for such goals, it gave brief power over anothers body and yes the violation may well haunt them for the rest of their lives, but, they would not be under the control of the rapist, they could like the Bajoran Nurse recover and move on with their lives not allowing that humilliating violation to destroy them.

Would Julian Bashir recover from this?, Garak was determined to see that he did everything in his power to help him do so, and if that meant hunting down and flaying Dukat?, well that would just be an added bonus.

 

Garak was broken out of his musing as Sisko came up to him "I want to know what happened to my CMO" he said in a low voice

"Gul Dukat happened Commander" Garak replied stepping back from the bio-bed to be out of the nurses way so they could draw a curtain about the bio-bed and give Julian some privacy while they examined him fully

"Mr Garak?" Sisko asked in a quieter voice his eyes drawn to the bloody foot prints on the floor and his mind turning over the fact that Julian had been naked save for the tunic Garak had wrapped about his shoulders 

"Perhaps we should speak outside?" Garak said gesturing to the corridor, with a regretful look towards the curtained bio-bed Sisko did as Garak suggested and went into the corridor, Garak had hardly stepped outside the door before the Commander had seized him by the shoulders and slammed him against the wall 

"Tell me what the hell happened right now!" he growled at the Cardassian who could have easily shoved him away but instead Garak allowed the commander to keep him pinned and gave him a cold look 

"I think you already know what happened Commander it's just that your oh so pure Federation mind doesn't want to accept something as terrible as this happening to one of your officers"

Sisko sagged letting go of Garak and backing against the opposite wall hanging his head "Dukat raped him" he whispered pressing his lips together he kicked the wall and slapped his com badge "Sisko to security"

"Odo here" came the immediate response 

"Odo go to air lock three, stop the Cardassian ship from leaving and take Gul Dukat into custody on a charge of rape!"

There was a pause then Odo replied in a sorry sounding voice "I'm afraid that Dukat has already left the station commander, no doubt for Cardassian space"

"It wouldn't have done any good anyway" Garak said "The assult occured on Dukats ship which is Cardassian territory and under Cardassian law the rape of an alien specie is not a crime"

"Not A Crime!" Sisko looked about ready to explode "He has violated one of my officers, beaten, abused, and.......God knows what else and you are telling me he's going to get off scott free?"

Bitterly Garak nodded looking towards the infirmary seeing a Bajoran Doctor stepping behind the curtains surrounding Julian's bed no doubt to treat the internal damage that worthless scorpion had caused

"Why?" Sisko asked "Why the Doctor?, he's hardly had any contact with Dukat, he has no strategic knowledge or anything that was of value to Dukat"

"Oh he has something of value Commander" Garak whispered bitterly "He has my feelings towards him which made him the perfect victim for Dukat to use to hurt me"


	3. Chapter 3

As much as Sisko distrusted Garak, and disliked him he couldn't help but feel a wave of compassion for Garak and what he must be feeling right now, pressing his lips together he gently lay a hand on Garaks shoulder making him startle slightly and tense at the touch as if expecting a blow   
"This isn't your fault you know" Sisko said in a hushed voice "You can't blame yourself for this"

"Oh I can blame myself for not seeing this coming, for not providing protection for the Doctor" Garak corrected 

"Doctor Bashir's safety is my job Garak not yours" 

Garak turned and gave the commander a mirthless smile "Then I believe we can both share the blame for having failed him".

An hour after he'd been brought in the infirmary Julian was patched up both internally and externally and was sleeping under sedation.

"Will he be alright Doctor?" Sisko asked the Bajoran Doctor who'd treated Julian 

"Physically yes" the Doctor replied "There will be no lasting damage there, mentally and emotionally?, only time will tell"

"He'll need counciling Benjamin" Dax said from her bed "He'll need support and friendship to get through this"

"Which we will all provide" Sisko stated glancing to Garak who had taken up a seat beside Julian's bed "I'll make a priority report to StarFleet about this and insist they act against Dukat" he growled wanting very much to act against the creeping Lizard himself and beat that smug smirk off his face once and for all!

"As I have already said Commander....." Garak said looking up at the large man but Sisko cut him off 

"I can't just ignore this Garak, a very serious assult has been commited against one of my officers and I intend to do what I can to bring the culprit to justice"

Garak looked away clearly not convinced that any good would come of involving Starfleet and instead focused on watching Julian breath in and out as he lay half buried under the sheets deeply asleep thanks to the sedatives

"Are you going to tell the senior staff?" Dax asked Sisko who shrugged

"It's better they hear this from us than from station gossip" he said "I doubt this will remain a secret for long even if we try to keep it quiet"

Dax sighed looking across the room to where Julian lay, he looked impossibly young and fragile in that bed, as much as Kira had found his brash enthuseasm and hyperactive need to talk and always be doing something irritating Dax had found it rather endearing, it was kind of like watching a little brother learning and growing, while he might at times be tactless and not know when to back off he more than made up for it with his compassion and unerring ability to love everyone for who they were. Garak was an example of that, while the Cardassian had initially sought out Julian's company the Doctor had been the one to keep their relationship going, had taken it upon himself to befriend the tailor and look beyond anything he may or may not have been in the past. 

While Dax was sure that with time, effort, and encouragement Julian would recover from this she knew that a part of him would forever be lost to them, his innocence could never be recovered Dukat had succeeded in destroying that but if it was the last thing she ever did Jadzia Dax was not going to let the over grown Iguana destroy anything else about her pseudo little brother.

 

The Infirmary became depressingly quiet after Sisko left supposedly to sleep though Dax doubted he'd even get into bed much less close his eyes until he's written a report to Starfleet command and gone through this nightmare in his mind at least a hundred more times trying to think of ways he could have prevented it.  
She herself couldn't sleep, she rolled one way and then another and then lay on her back but she couldn't settle, couldn't get the image of Julian out of her mind as he'd limped into the infirmary supported by Garak. 

The Cardassian himself had remained at the Doctors bedside and was sat slumped in the chair shifting every so often showing that he hadn't fallen asleep either. 

"It's good of you to stay" Dax said softly making Garak startle having clearly having thought her asleep, she smiled at him from her bed and sat up straighter "You care a lot about Julian don't you?" she asked delicately though after so many lifetimes she could easily tell the difference between friendship and love and it was clear that Garak had stopped feeling friendship for Julian a long time ago, something that Julian had only just recently started to reciprocate.

Would that be something lost because of Dukat?, Dax hoped not, hoped that the feelings that she had been watching growing between the two men wouldn't be lost in the blaze of this hellish assult.

Garak sighed and stood up stretching and making his back crack and crossed the small distance between them stopping at the foot of Dax's bed "Dukat realized the same thing" he said with a bitter smile "Thats why he chose The Doctor to..........exact his revenge upon me"  
"That doesn't make this your fault Garak" Dax said earning herself a bitter laugh from Garak 

"Your Illustrious Commander said much the same to me!" he snorted bitterly 

"And he is right!" Dax persisted forcefully "I know you're hurting right now Garak, I know you're furious and sickened and want to rip the universe in half and reign bloody fury down on Dukat but that is not going to help Julian recover", as the Cardassian gave a breathy sounding hiss and looked away Dax pressed on sitting forward in bed and speaking in a lower voice "And neither will your guilt help him, what will is your love"

Now this got the ex Spy's attention and were the situation less dire then Dax may have taken some amusment in the look of surprise on his face but as it was she kept to the matter at hand "You two have been dancing around each other for the last few months, making moon eyes and trading touches that last a little bit too long to be anything but desire"

"Ah be that as it may Lieutenant........."

"If it were a purely physical attraction the two of you would have fallen into bed by now and have enjoyed a short but passionate fling" Dax said cutting Garak off "The fact the two of you have taken the time to persue this slowly shows that it is much deeper than that"

It was some what amusing to watch shock pass over Garaks normally impassive face and Dax couldn't quite supress a grin this time.  
Garak swallowed and cleared his throat straightening his tunic and gathering his dignity that Dax had some how managed to rip apart,   
"While I applaude your observational skills Lieutenant I doubt very much that the Doctor will appreciate a Cardassians attentions now, mine or anyones" 

Dax shook her head "Just because Dukat is Cardassian doesn't mean Julian will blame every Cardassian for this, please, don't turn from him now, not out of a sense of guilt or because you think staying away from him will help because it won't! he will need you and your support now more than ever, he will need to be reassured and convinced that he isn't ruined and damaged for life, that Dukat hasn't made him disgusting and untouchable........"

"He hasn't!" Garak snapped breaking his cool once again 

Dax nodded a hard expression on her usually serene face "Don't tell me that, tell Julian, and make sure that you make him believe it"

Garak sighed and turned to look over at the still heavily slumbering Julian "I can assure you Lieutenant that is Julian does not recover from this assult it will not be for a lack of trying on my part, and I hope not from yours and his friends".


	4. Chapter 4

Sisko had called more senior staff meetings than he could count off the top of his head and he had discussed many difficult and weighty matters during his time on Deep Space Nine and he had never felt sick before a meeting, never dreaded having to speak to his Senior officers as he did this morning.

The space at the table where Julian Bashir should have been sitting was like a missing limb on a body and it hurt as much as phantom pains did amputees.

Sitting down heavily Sisko sighed and exchanged an uneasy glance with Dax.

When she had left the Infirmary Julian had not yet woken thanks to the heavy pain relief and sedatives he was under, whether or not that was a blessing Sisko didn't know nore could he even begin to imagine what the Doctor would be feeling when he finally awoke.

"Is everythin' alright Sir?" O'Brien asked after a few minutes of silence

"No Chief, no it is not" Sisko replied sighing very heavily once again "What I have to tell you all must not leave this room. I doubt very much that it will remain a secret for very long but I expect all of you to keep what I have to say here to yourselves"

O'Brien rose his eyebrows and looked to Dax who was gazing at Sisko her eyes shining with unshed tears, a look to Kira and Odo gained him no more insight and Julians gapingly vacant chair made the Irishmans stomach churn in worry. 

Inspite of himself he had become rather fond of Julian Bashir over the past few years, the lad had grown on him, once you got past that cocky wet behind the ears new Officer attitude you found he was one of the most compassionate, resourceful, and intelligent men in the whole Quadrant. 

He'd also been a deep source of comfort to O'Briens sore heart over his less than stellar marriage, if Keiko wasn't on Bajor then the two of them were arguing or putting fake smiles on their faces to keep Molly from knowing that they were anything but a happy family.   
The constant loneliness and exhaustion from fighting or faking happiness grated on the Chief and Julian had come to be a welcome distraction from his misery. 

It didn't hurt that he was pretty to look at either, and you couldn't really describe him as anything other than pretty, honestly what was a man doing with such thick eye lashes, high cheek bones, and kissable lips anyway!?, with that and his young slender colt like physique he practically a walking wet dream for even the straightest of men and Miles Edward O'Brien had been one hundred percent straight before he'd started spending time with the Doctor. 

Now he was always comparing Julian to Keiko, comparing their flaws and their faults as if he were trying to decide who he liked better, asking himself why his wife couldn't appreciate his sense of humor and love of the great battles of Earth as much as Julian did, and in his worst moments he'd find himself wondering what all that long smooth olive skin would feel like under his work calloused hands, had even had a dream or two in his lonely and depressingly empty bed that had required the sheets needing to be changed about the tantalising young Doctor writhing on those very same sheets with him.

Forcing those thoughts out of his mind and reminding himself of his marriage vows O'Brien looked up at Siskos haggard sleep deprived face and braced himself for whatever was coming, but when Sisko spoke he felt like he was punched in his stomach by a Klingon on steroids!.

"Yesterday evening Gul Dukat abducted Dr Bashir from this station, had him transported to his ship where he.........brutalized the Doctor savagely"

"Brutalized?" Kira repeated slowly a sickened horror already dawning in her eyes, she of all people knew what Cardassians were capable of 

Sisko looked down at the table unable to meet the eyes of his Senior Officers "He raped The Doctor, most brutally"

"Son of bitch!" Kira swore slamming her palms against the table top and leaping up from her chair in an act of frustrated fury that O'Brien could well appreciate

"The call from you last night Commander, asking me to arrest Dukat" Odo said 

"Yes" Sisko sighed looking up at the changling "But we were too late"

"Bastard had already run back to Cardassian space where we can't get to him!" Kira snarled "He swoops in here attacks our Doctor and charges on back out and theres not a damn thing we can do about it!"

"I have sent a report to Star Fleet command demanding that they act on this and put pressure on the Central Command to have Dukat arrested and brought to justice"

"Justice!" Kira sneered "They won't do a damn thing!"

"She's right Sir, rape of other species is considered fair game to Cardies" O'Brien spat "Savage bastards", and now poor innocent Julian had learned that the hard way 

"The chances are there won't be anything we can do about Dukat" Dax said her normally smooth voice rough from lack of sleep and too much grief "What we must focus on is helping Julian recover from this, showing him through our words and actions that he is loved and that Dukat hasn't ruined him as he intended "

Kira gave a disgusted sounding snort shaking her head "I know of plenty of Bajorans who suffered the same, they didn't have their hands held nore were they petted and treated like fragile flowers after!"

"Thats enough Major!" Sisko barked startling Kira who had the grace to think about what she'd just said and look shamed by it 

"Sorry Sir I..........I didn't mean that...........I will help in anyway I can of course" 

"We all will" Odo said

"If it's alright sir I'd like to go to the infirmary and see how Julians doing?" Miles asked 

"He wasn't conscious when I left but I'm sure a friendly face will be welcome" Dax offered to Sisko who nodded 

"Very well, dismissed" the Commander said "And remember to try and keep this as quiet as possible, if there are rumours circulating and people gossiping try to stop them, I don't want the Doctor to face anymore problems than he already has to".

 

Infirmary

 

Julian did indeed have a friendly face to wake to, Garak was the first person he saw when he awoke.

For a moment he didn't remember the day before, he felt blissfully numb and pleasently confused to see Garak at his bedside. 

Then he noticed it wasn't his bed but a Bio-bed, and between that and the bitter taste in his mouth left over from the tranquilizors he'd been given everything came flooding back in a tidal wave of horror that made his face crumple and tears fill his eyes prompting Garak to move and take his hand.

"It's alright Doctor you're safe, you're in the Infirmary and no one will ever hurt you again" the Cardassian assured him 

"But it still happened" Julian whispered sniffing and turning his face towards the pillow "He still..........I couldn't stop him!, I tried but he was too strong!" he sobbed his voice growing fainter with the tears choking him "I tried to fight him off, I tried to get away I really did!"

"I'm sure you did" Garak said in as soothing a voice as he could, out of the corner of his eye he could see Nurse Bandy standing in the doorway ready to intervine if needed but he shook his head slightly not about to relinquish Julian to anothers care just yet. 

"I should have moved faster" Julian said wiping his eyes on the back of his left wrist and sniffed hard even as fresh tears formed to take the place of the others "If I'd reached the door then......"

"No, no do not do this to yourself" Garak said cutting the Doctor off "There was nothing you could have done, he had you on his ship at his mercy, even if you had reached the door you could not have escaped, he would have had at least one guard at all times"

"I still should have fought harder!"

Garak sighed, clearly the Doctor was intent on blaming himself as if it were his fault, and while the Cardassian had experiance in many trades, gardening and tailoring being just a few councilling was not one of them and he was feeling horribly out of his depths. However that did not mean he wasn't going to try.

Taking a deep breath he moved from the chair that had been turning his backside numb most of the night and sat on the side of bio-bed and placed a scaled finger beneath the Doctors chin tipping his head up so he could look into his eyes that for once weren't shining with enthuseasm but tears.

"Doctor, Julian, I have gotten to know you quite well over the past couple of years and one thing I know about you is that you are a fighter and would not have submitted without one hell of a fight"

"Not enough of one" Julian whispered trying to look away but Garak refused to let him 

"You are a Doctor, and while I'm sure Star Fleet gave you some self defence training it would be nothing compared to what Dukat has been trained for and is capable to say nothing of the fact that Cardassians have far greater strength than humans"  
Julian sniffed and let out a shuddering gasp as Garaks rough thumbs wiped the tears from under his eyes and gave Julian a gentle smile, Julian looked on the verge of smiling himself but then he looked over Garak's shoulder seeing the duty Doctor aproaching them.

"I'm sorry to intrude but I'm afraid I need to......do a check up" he said appologetically 

"Of course" Garak said making to move but Julian took his hand stopping him from leaving "My dear I promise I won't go far" the Cardassian said with a gentle smile 

Julian looked from Garak to the Doctor and back, intellectually he knew that he had nothing to fear but right now he was terrified of being vulnerable to anyone, Garak was like a life line to a drowning man and he wanted to cling to him for protection.

However the thought of doing such a thing made him disgusted with himself, he was a grown man for God sake not a helpless child, he should know better than to act like this!.

Disgustedly he pulled back his hand and took a deep breath facing the Doctor "I'm ready" he said as steadily as he could 

The Doctor exchanged a glance with Garak who quietly stepped back from the bed allowing the Doctor to take his place to examin Julian pulling the curtain round the bed to give the Doctor some privacy.

 

"You should go and get yourself some breakfast and some rest" one of the nurses said startling Garak as he stared at the closed curtains, he gazed at her for a moment uncomprehendingly so she went on, "The examination will take a while, you can at least shower and change your clothes if you're planning on coming back" 

"Of course I am" Garak said indignantly, by all the Guls did everyone think that Cardassians were without any integrity or compassion?

"Well as I said it'll be a while before the Doctors finished" the Nurse said "So why don't you go and freshen up?", she didn't wait for a reply from Garak, she simply went on about her duties 

Pursing his lips Garak paused looking at the curtain, he could do with a shower and a fresh set of clothes, he could also do with something to eat and drink............, mind made up he cleared his throat "Doctor?"

"Yeah?" a shaky voice replied from behind the curtain 

"I will be departing for an hour or so to change my clothes and take a shower, will you be alright?" Garak asked his right hand raised just slightly in a desire to open the curtains to slip inside and make sure that Julian was alright

"Um okay" Julian whispered making Garak sigh deeply for a moment he reached out a second away from opening the curtains and only held back by sheer force of will and made himself leave the infirmary to do as the nurse suggested, and if there was ever a morning he needed Rakassa juice it was this one.

 

Julian was sat uncomfortably back on the bed following his examination, according the the Duty Doctor he was healing nicely internally though he had still to move his bowels and that was to be examined too incase of intenal bleeds that the tricorder might have missed. Stool samples may not be the nicest of tests but they were a necassary evil in some cases like this one.

Breakfast had been brought to him and placed on the tray before him, cherry scones with butter and strawberry jam and a pot of Tarkalian tea which he drank a cup of eagerly enough but couldn't bring himself to stomach anything to eat.

He was going to be kept in the infirmary for anothe twenty four hours for observation and was off duty for the next week which gave him nothing to do and far too much time to think and thinking was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Julian?"

The Doctor looked up startled and saw a nervous looking O'Brien standing before his bed looking more out of place and uncomfortable than he had ever seen him before

"I was jus'....I wanted to see how you are" Miles said uncomfortably not really sure of what to say in this situation 

Julian looked down at the bed and shrugged "Been better" he whispered 

"Oh Julian", Miles acted before he thought about it moving round the bed and reaching out to embrace the Doctor who reacted in fear scooting up the bed with wide startled eyes that reminded Miles of an animal when it was cornered, "I'm sorry I didn't......." he broke off really not knowing what to say or do

Julian nodded wetting his lips trying to calm his heart rate down and relax, this was Miles for God sake not Dukat!, he would never hurt him, never........Julian felt the sharp pin pricks of panic stabbing in the back of his neck and he clenched his fists trying to calm himself down 

"Should I get the nurse?" Miles asked becoming worried

"No" Julian said shaking his head and swallowing back a sob "I just....I really don't want to be touched right now" he said as steadily as he could 

"Yeah of course, I'm sorry" Miles appologised kicking himself, of course Julian wouldn't want to be touched! an idiot could have worked that one out!

"So...who knows?" Julian asked pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms about his shins looking impossibly small and young 

"Just the Senior staff" Miles said standing in an "At ease" posture, "Sisko wants to try and keep it that way"

"Fat chance" Julian snorted knowing very well that secrets lasted here about as long as Quark leaning a lesson to change his ways

"Is there anything I can do?" Miles asked feeling horribly helpless at this point, he wanted to take the Doctor into his arms and cuddle him like he would Molly when she scraped her knees playing, wanted to comfort him, to hold him close and make sure he knew that he wouldn't let anyone hurt him again!, but Julian looked ready to bolt if Miles took a step closer to him!.

Trying to grasp for something to talk about to keep from an uncomfortable silence developing Miles glanced at the untouched tray of food   
"Not hungry?" he asked 

"Not really" Julian replied 

"I can get you something from the replimat if you like?, or the Klingon resturant?"

Julian's eyebrows rose and a weak attempt at a smile quirked his lips "Ghah for breakfast?" he asked 

Miles snickered "Klingons eat it anytime of the day!"

"Well not me!, if I can't stomach scones I certainly can't handle food thats still wriggling!"

"Yeah can't say I blame you" Miles agreed "But if theres anything...."

Julian shook his head "I'm just not hungry" he knew he would have to eat eventually, not only because his body would require the nutrician but also because his own medical staff would force him to, right now however he just couldn't manage it 

"Ah Doctor I trust I haven't been absent too long!".


	5. Chapter 5

Garaks unexpected cheerful voice startled both Star Fleet officers but both reacted differently, Julian let out a breath that felt like a sigh of relief while Miles straightened up puffing his chest up and lifting his chin as if squaring up for a fight  
"What are you doin' 'ere Garak?" he demanded "Julian's not well, he needs rest not tailoring skills!"

Ah the less than subtle actions and words from Chief O'Brien, Hero of Setlek III and possible rival for the good Doctors affections!. 

Garak smiled like a serpent preparing to strike and looked down his nose at the Chief   
"Indeed" he said "I'm sure our Good Doctor needs rest, and I know that he is "Unwell" for I have been here all night", unlike you who were sleeping in ignorant bliss went unsaid but O'Brien knew what he was infering anyway

Smiling a warmer smile now Garak walked round to the other side of the bed "Skipping breakfast Doctor?" he asked raising an eyeridge "You of all people should know that is a bad thing!"

"I'm just not feeling very hungry" Julian said sheepishly 

"For what the replicators provide I'm not surprised!" Garak said lifting one of the scones and frowning at it "Are these meant to be cakes or some sort of confection?" 

"They're scones, a pastry dish most often served with afternoon tea" Julian explained "Or were back in the old days"  
"Ah!, days which are naturally forgotten by the dengenaration of todays youth!" 

Garak's teasing snipe almost brought a laugh from Julian something that Miles did not fail to see and hated himself for the twinge of jealousy that shot through him, after what his friend had just been through who could begrudge him a little laughter even if it was brought about by a damn Cardie?.

Was it the fact that Garak was a Cardassian that had the Chief's back up or simply because Julian was responding to another more than he had to him?, Miles didn't know the answer and had to resign himself to feeling like the fifth wheel as Garak made small talk with Julian that had him getting more animated and looking less like a vulnerable child by the minute.

"I must say I will never fully understand humans and some of their foolish notions" Garak said with an exagerated sigh that had Julian's eyebrows rising and his face taking on that intrigued/I'm squaring for a fight expression he always wore when in a confrontation that wasn't a matter of life and death 

"Name one foolish notion!" he demanded causing Garak to sigh again and gesture to the scones

"This for example"

"Scones?" Miles found himself scoffing 

"Indeed Chief" Garak said in most supercilious tone that seemed designed to purposefully grate on Miles's nerves "Obviously since this confection has some kind of fruit baked into it, it was used to entice your young to consume more fruit in their diet, but as a result they also end up consuming far too much refined sugar which is not condusive to their health and so the ploy to make them more healthy has failed!".

 

Miles let out a bark of laughter and stared at Garak as if he had grown a second head while Julian just rolled his eyes   
"Scones were created to be nothing of the sort" he stated "Not all have fruit in them, in fact some are savory, cheese scones for example!"

"Adding animal fats to pointless carbohydrates is again hardly a worth while addition to a healthy diet" Garak sniffed, it was well known that Cardassians tended to steer clear of dairy products, tending more to a heavily meat based diet of rich proteins that the varied diet that Humans enjoyed, although that did not mean they didn't indulge on occaision, Julian knew for a fact that Garak had a weakness for chocolate and for spice pudding though he would likely not addmit to it even under the threat of torture!.

Smiling at the familiar bantering with his mysterious friend Julian nodding to the plate before him "You know you should try one before you condemn them" he said "It's hardly fair to do otherwise"

Garak rose an eye ridge looking suspiciously shocked at the suggestion, a little to suspicious in Julian's opinion...  
"Well I suppose" the Cardassian sighed sounding like he was being put upon "I will eat one of these.......patries..........if you will!".

 

Ah, so that was the tactic, Julian could have cursed himself for not seeing it sooner and allowing Garak to lead him round so easily once again, yet he couldn't help himself as he broke into a smile and shook his head   
"This was your scheme all along" he accused fondly "To get me to eat something"

"Well you must addmit it's better than having one of your own staff administer a feeding tube or something equally as repugnant!" Garak replied picking up one of the scone and slice it in half then carefully painted the insides with butter and jam and held out half to Julian who rolled his head and accepted his half and then held out the plate to O'Brien 

"Theres plenty to go round" he said with a twinkle in his eye "And I doubt Garak can choke down more than half of one!"

Any smugness Miles may have felt he hid in a mouthful of scone at the sour look on the Cardassians face   
"Quite as vile as I thought they would be!" he stated "Far too cloying and sweet, and just what are those obserd little red things meant to be?"

"Cherries!" Miles said "They're cherries and they're delicious"

"I believe a human saying applies to this" Garak said with a hauty sniff

"Which human saying?" Julian asked through a mouthful of scone 

"There is no accounting for taste!". 

 

Despite Commander Sisko's best intentions to keep Dukats assult on Bashir private by midday every single person on DS9 had either heard of it or was being told about it in whispers and hushed behind the hand comments.

It was likly that the information had been spoken of by one of the nurses that had attended Julian during the night, he or she could have spoken to a friend or family member who then spoke to another and from their the whole thing snowballed, so much so that as O'Brien sat at the bar in Quarks the insidious little ferret himself dared to shove a glass of scotch (Not synthale thank God) at the chief and speak of it to him!.

"Bad business" the Ferengi said in a low voice 

"What business is that?" O'Brien asked not catching on at first, having spent the whole day stewing over the situation with Julian and replaying the damnable visit to the infirmary that morning in his head where he had been completely side lined by that damn Cardie the chief had hoped to just loose himself in a few drinks and with luck forget about the horror of Julian's assult the desolation of his marriage for at least a few hours, but it seemed that his luck was still deserting him as Quark leaned forward over the bar to speak to him in an even quieter voice as if he were sharing a secret.

"Dukat raping Doctor Bashir?" the Ferengi said "A horrid act to say the least, people have been talking about it all day!"

"Well they can bloody well shut up!" Miles barked angrily at Quark "Julian doesn't need 'is private business being discussed all over the bloody station!"

Quark shrugged "Bit late for that, especially when he left a trail of blood all the way from airlock three to the infirmary!"

Miles snarled and only just kept from punching Quark's irritating face, swallowing down his scotch in a single gulp and he slid the glass back across the bar with a bit more force than necassary as it sent the tumbler thumping into Quark with a bump that had the Ferengi cursing and fumbling with the glass to make sure it wasn't broken!.

"Just get this straight Quark" Miles said pointing at his bulbous head "What that Cardie did to Julian is no laughing matter, nore a subject to be gossiped about at your dabo tables!, and if you ever want me to repair your holosuites after a Klingon uses them again then you'll make sure no one mentions it in here again!"

As O'Brien stormed out of the bar Quark stood up and let out a deep sigh "Some people just won't use a friendly ear to listen even when it's offered without a price!".

 

Despite the fact the duty Doctor wanted to keep him in one more night Julian insisted on going back to his own quarters.

More than anything he wanted to shower, to scrub himself clean of Dukat's hateful touch, to remove any trace of the vile Cardassian from his skin completely.

Standing in the stall he put it on the highest setting and set about scrubbing himself over and over again with a scrubbing brush, five minutes went by, then ten, soon half an hour was gone and Julian couldn't stop scrubbing even though he was starting to draw blood and ever inch of his flesh was red raw!.

Finally the brush fell from his shaking hands and he sank down to sit hunched up in a corner sobbing into his knees as the vibrations from the sonic continued to hum over head.


	6. Chapter 6

Garak had just finished fitting a particularly rotund Tellerite with a new suit in the most ghastly shade of orange he had ever had the displeasure of viewing when Julian came into his shop.

"There we are, the suit looks very distinguished upon you" Garak lied to the Tellerite who looked like an orange with arms and legs however he wanted rid of him fast and the best way to do that was to pander to his ego

"Slimming don't you think?" the poor fool said to him preening before the full length mirror 

"Absalutely!" Garak agreed his attention more upon the Doctor than the Tellerite who made one of his species trade mark snorting noises and reached into his walet and drew out a handful of latinum slips for him 

"And a tip for such good work" the Tellerite said adding another two slips 

"Ah thank you very much" Garak said with as much grace as he could muster "Do please come again", looking as happy as a pig in mud the Tellerite waddeled out of the shop leaving Garak to focus upon Julian which was what he wanted.

 

"Another satisfied customer?" Julian said trying to sound upbeat and failing misrably. Instead of standing tall and poised like a cat waiting to pounce he was hunched in on himself his shoulders curled over towards his chest and his arms wrapped about his waist self hugging. There was no point in asking how he was feeling since that was quite obvious by his demeaner and it was clear he hadn't slept by how blood shot and darkly shadowed his eyes were.

"Looking for a new suit yourself?" Garak asked deciding to let Julian lead the conversation, if he wanted to discuss the weather, local politics, the latest fashion trends then Garak would do so until the Doctor felt comfortable enough to speak about what had really brought him here

Smiling weakly Julian shook his head and surprised Garak by getting straight to the point instead of beating about the bush "I can't sleep" he said rolling his lips over his teeth "I can't settle in my quarters, I go out on the promenade and everyones.......avoiding my eyes and whispering and giving me pitying looks........." his voice became horse for a moment Garak thought he'd start crying again but the Doctor took a deep breath and calmed himself "I don't like feeling helpless, or having people pity me"

"Understandable" Garak said "None of us like such things", he was gratified by Julian smiling a real smile now and loosening his selp hugging arms 

"You understand me" he whispered "You.........You're treating me like you always do not like I'm carrying some contagious disease or am about to shatter into a thousand pieces" 

Garak flexed his neck ridges in the Cardassian version of a shrug "To me you are Julian Bashir CMO of Deep Space Nine with questionable tastes in music, fashion, and Literature!, nothing that has happened will change that", unless of course you want our relationship to become more than friendship and thanks to Dukat I can't see that happening any time soon! he thought to himself

"There is nothing wrong with my fashion sense taste in music or literature!" Julian argued "You just don't appreciate Human styles!"

"Or you Cardassian!" Garak returned a smug smile coming over his face as he felt the start of a familiar argument 

"Oh I might appreciate some things Cardassian" Julian said finally letting his arms fall to his side "You uh...know how to fight don't you?" he asked biting at his bottom lip "You were taught how to fight, defend yourself and such in the Obsidian Order?"

"Assuming I was ever a member!"

"Garak!" Julian moaned "I'm being serious here!"

Chastised Garak sighed and approached the Doctor slowly so as not to frighten him since he was clearly still as skittish as a frightened animal   
"Whether or not I was in the Obsidian Order matters not, I do know how to fight yes, how to defend myself and how to kill when needs be, the question is why you want to know this My Dear?"

Julian lifted his chin and took a breath "I want you to teach me how to fight too".

 

Half an hour later found Garak and Julian in the holosuite standing in a Cardassian training ground. 

Both had changed clothes, Garak into looser less elaborate attire, a simple long sleeved shirt with a keyhole style neck line and loose fitting pants that provided an ease of movement.   
Julian was in his silver leotard he normally wore to play racket ball with chief O'Brien and was stretching his biceps following a warm up.

"I assmue you know some basic self defense?" Garak asked wondering if this was a good idea, he outmatched Julian in strength could seriously injure him if he wasn't careful but the Doctor had insisted, had broken Garaks heart when he'd shown him his red raw skin from where he'd spent an hour in the shower scrubbing himself bloody and had begged for Garak to help him stop feeling so helpless so much so that the Cardassian couldn't refuse, and so here they were in the holosuite getting ready to start Julian's training.

"Basic self defese, how to dodge a punch and throw one, how to aim and fire a phaser" Julian said dropping his arms and shifting on the balls of his feet "Nothing extensive though"

"Very well" Garak murmured wondering how best to do this "Computer create a Cardassian Opponant for me, two point one meters tall, 200lbs, full military training"

The computer complied and within a moment a Cardassian soldier appeared before him and immediately began to move ready for a fight 

"Hey uh I thought you were fighting me?" Julian asked confused 

"And to avoid injury I think it would be best for you to observe first and then start to practise" Garak replied squaring up and curling his hands into fists "Watch and learn".

 

With safety on Garak wasn't really in danger of being injured but he was not planning on loosing to his opponant either so as the soldier swung at his neck ridge he dodged back and blocked the blow bringing up his free arm and struck the soldier on his own neck ridge making him cry out and bend over in pain, next Garak brought his knee up connecting it with the soldiers stomach to wind him and then with the full force of both forearms he beat down on the exposed back of the soldiers neck dropping him to the floor.

"Nicely done" Julian said hopping up from where he'd been watching perched on a rock "My turn now!"

"Doctor I don't think......." Garak began to protest but Julian cut him off 

"I only need to be shown something once and I've got it" he said raising his arms in a defensive posture "Now gimme your best shot!"

Sighing deeply Garak raised his own arms and prepared himself making sure to reign in his strength and doubting very much that Julian would be able to pick something up as quick as he said, a doubt that was shot lived as the Doctor deftly blocked him and managed to get a jab to his shoulder before Garak was able to deflect him!, the Doctors mocking laughter was both music to his ears and fuel to his fire as Garak pulled back and made a lunge for the Doctor who side stepped and blocked him again but at least this time didn't get another punch in before Garak blocked it, he did however manage to get a leg up to kick him though held back from hurting Garak which the Cardassian was very grateful for, after a few minutes of blocking and punching Garak twisted Julian into a neck clamp before releasing him and drawing in a deep breath feeling exhilerated.

A feeling that was shared by the flush on Julian's cheeks and the shine in his eyes both of which were a pleasent change to see since his assult.

"Told you I was a quick study" Julian said grinning at Garak 

"Indeed" Garak agreed "But lets see just how quick you are if we take this to the next level!".

 

After two hours Quark came and threw them out of the holosuite since it's time for someone else to use it.

"Can I get you both something to drink?" the Ferengi asked as they descended the winding stairs to the lower level of the bar 

"Hm a glass of Kaanar would be most pleasent right now" Garak said looking to Julian who nodded

"Scotch neat" he said happily following Quark to the bar where he swiftly served their drinks "Same time tomorrow?" he asked taking a sip of the drink 

Garak rose and eye ridge "I wouldn't want you to over do it my Dear" he said sipping his kaanar

"I'm fine" Julian assured him glancing over Garak's shoulder where he saw a couple of Bajorans looking at him and whispering before sharply looking away, feeling his skin prickle he glanced about the bar seeing others doing much the same, from the Dabo girls to the off duty personel, to the Ferengi waitors he was being observed and spoken about as if he were an object of interest.

Julian swallowed hard feeling his heart beating faster and his breathing starting to pick up, suddenly the lights in the bar seemed far too bright and the noise of voices and laughter far to loud

"Doctor are you alright?" Garak asked having seen the change in Julian since they sat down, when he got no response he reached out and placed a hand on the Doctors knee. This caused an immediate reaction as Julian all but fell off the stool to get away knocking his drink off the bar so it fell and the glass shattered on the floor.

At once the bar fell eirily silent and Julian bolted making Garak curse in Cardassian toss back and his Kaanar and make to follow the Doctor only to run into O'Brien as he came round the corner 

"What the bloody hell did you do to Julian?" the Chief demanded accusingly "He tore past me looking scared to death!"

"I don't have time for this!" Garak growled making to shove past the insufferable oaf but O'Brien grabbed his arm and spun him round probably in an attempt to pin him against the wall but with a snarl Garak twisted free of the grasp and instead pinned O'Brien with a hand about his throat   
"I said!" he snarled baring his teeth and hissing dangerously "I don't have time for this!" shoving away from O'Brien Garak stalked swiftly away following Julian's scent that was filled with fear and panic making it easy to track all the way to the Doctor's quarters which Garak entered with just as much ease as he had the year before when he'd been investigating the orphan Rugal.

Julian was crumpled on the floor besides his couch panting heavily and digging his finger nails so hard into his palms they were bleeding!.

Anxiety attack Garak's sharp mind supplied Hyperventilation brought on by terror, crossing the room in three strides the Cardassian was on his knees beside Julian and pulling him into a tight embrace and pressed the Doctors head into his chest while he manipulated the nerves and pressure points in his neck to help calm him down 

"Garak!" Julian horsely panted letting out a choked sob "I can't do it!, I can't stand them all looking at me!"

"It's alright Doctor" Garak soothed continuing to apply pressure to the nerves "You just need to take this one day at a time"

"I just want it to stop" Julian whispered as his breathed began to slow "I want to feel safe and happy again I don't know how".


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Julian had calmed down he was completely exhausted and fell asleep almost as soon as Garak had him put to bed.

Taking his time Garak wrapped the blanket about Julian's slim frame and tucked him in like a parent would a child, spying a teddy bear sitting on the dresser he took it and placed it in the crook of Julian's elbow suspecting that he may get some comfort from the cuddly toy.

Pausing he ran a hand through the Doctor's hair wishing that he were putting him to bed under far better circumstances   
"I will do whatever I can to make you feel happy and safe again my Dear" he whispered allowing himself to hiss as he spoke "Whatever you need if it is within my power I shall provide it, and I swear to you that I will see you are avenged for this".

 

Captain's Quarters

 

Sisko had just sat down with a book to read on his pad when the door bell chimed.

Sighing and setting the book to one side he rose to his feet, with Jake out with Nog doing God knows what he had hoped to have a little time to himself, to unwind and hopefully get his mind of the situation with Bashir.

As he had expected Starflet hadn't been able to do a damn thing about the asult, they had sent their sympathies for what they were worth to the Doctor and had made some diplomatic noises at Cardassia over the "Unfortunate incident" but there would be no further action taken. 

Cardassia as Garak had already stated were not in the least bit interested, Sodomy and rape of an alien on their property was not considered a crime so in their eyes Dukat had done nothing wrong and would face no reprisal from his superiors. 

Sisko had been seething about this all day, had been trying to work out how he was possibly going to break the news to Julian that his rapist would go unpunished, by the time his shift was over he'd had a thumping headache from stress and his neck was niggling from the tense posture he'd had all day and both had only just started to ease when the door bell had chimed and both twinged as he headed to the door and opened it to reveal an unhappy chief of Operations.

"Sorry t'bother yer sir" Miles said shifting awkwardly 

Sisko sighed and reminded himself that as a commander he had to be both boss and surrogate parent to his officers and so stepped back to allow O'Brien into his quarters  
"What can I do for you Chief?" he asked as Miles figited 

"It's about Julian.....uh Dr Bashir Sir" Miles said wringing his hands "I'm worried about him"

"We all are Chief" Sisko sighed sitting back down and gesturing for Miles to do the same "What he's been through.......no one should ever have to go through"

"It's not just that, it's that bloody Cardie Spy, Tailor, whatever he really is!"

Sisko frowned at the venom in the Chief's voice that was so unlike Miles "What about Garak?" he asked 

"He's...........he's taking advantage of Julian!" Miles burst out jumping up from his chair to pace the room "I knew it when he was with him in the infirmary, slithering his way in like that, forcing his dominance over Julian!"

"Chief Garak has been nothing but a loyal friend to the Doctor............"

"Julian was terrified and ran from him today!" Miles practically yelled "He shot past me looking white as a sheet with Garak on his heels!"

"Where did this happen?"

"Quarks" 

Sisko sighed clenching his fists, he didn't really doubt what the Chief was saying, Miles as far as he knew was no liar, however he was not discrete about his dislike for Cardassians and Sisko knew that everyone including himself was prone to exagerate when anxious about something, so he would give Garak the benefit of the doubt, for now at least until he had more information to work with.

 

"I don't think Garak should be allowed near Julian at the moment" Miles said finally sitting back down "He's a slimey bastard at the best of times and he isn't gonna be any help to Julian with his........Cardie ways right now"

Part of Sisko agreed with O'Brien, after all it was a Cardassian who had raped the Doctor and keeping him away from all Cardassians seemed like a logical idea, however Sisko remembered the way Garak had all but carried the Doctor in the infirmary, had spent the whole night at his bedside, and most especially how he blamed himself for had happened to Julian.

Like him or not, trust him or not, Sisko didn't believe that Garak was going to anything but good for Julian right now and would certainly do nothing to harm him. 

But while that maybe true Miles did have a point and Sisko wouldn't let this go until he'd spoken to Julian and Garak, which he may as well do sooner rather than later, especially since he clearly wasn't going to get any peace anytime soon!.

"Very well, lets go and speak to the good Doctor".

 

Julian's Quarters

 

Garak had opted to remain in the Doctor's quarters, putting things to rights first, somehow the human was impossibly untidy, his clothing strewn on the floor, hanging out of draws, and haphazardly hanging in his wardrobe with no order what so ever!.

Once he'd arranged the wardrobe by colour co-ordination he neatly folded the socks, underwear, and shirts and laid them in the draws, and then took the worn clothes to the replenisher to be cleaned. 

Julian slept through all this shifting and wrapping his arms about his bear unaware of Garak's domestic activities. 

Once the bedroom was taken care of Garak tied up the living room to make it look less like a bomb had hit it and settled down at the table with a glass of replicated kanar and a meal of Zabu steak, Krintar, and a Taspar egg when the door chimed.

Sighing he rose and swiftly answered the door lest Julian be awoken from his currently peaceful sleep.

"Commander, Chief, how might I help you?" he asked in mild surprise to find them at the Doctors door 

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Miles demanded before Sisko could get a word in and shoved his way in the apartment the commander following behind 

"I could ask the same of you" Garak countered not in the mood to play nice 

"Where is Dr Bashir?" Sisko asked 

"Sleeping, so I would advise that we keep the volume low lest we disturb him" 

Miles's face darkened "I swear Garak if you laid a damn finger on him..........."

"Chief enough!" Sisko snapped silencing Miles and looked to Garak who only just kept from smiling smugly at the glowering chief "What happened to Julian at Quarks?" Sisko asked

"Could you be more specific?" Garak asked hissing on every S and soft C, 

"Why'd he bolt from there, what d'you do t'im?" Miles snarled starting towards Garak when a soft voice from behind him stopped him, stopped everyone and had them turning to see Julian standing in the door way looking pale and rumpled 

"Garak didn't do anything, it was.........me, just me" he mumbled self hugging and looked at the floor in shame "I couldn't take all the looks and whispering"

"Oh Julian!" Miles groaned making to go towards him and take him in a hug only to have Julian back away with his arms out stretched before him "Shit, I'm sorry!"

"Yeah I know I just still don't want to be touched" Julian said sounding shaky even as he forced his body to relax 

Garak allowed himself a very brief smirk at the fact that Julian had allowed his touch early that day, maybe it had been because he'd initiated it himself?, maybe because he liked Garak's touch more than O'Briens?, this was something to think on later.

 

"I take it you are alright Doctor?" Sisko asked in a tone he used on Jake when he was hurt, ill, or upset about something 

"I'm fine" Julian was quick to reply, clearly he wasn't fine but he wasn't in danger of bleeding to death or anything life threatening either

"I'm sorry that the news of...........what happened spread, we tried to keep it quiet but...the rumour mill being what it is...." Sisko felt lame saying this as if he were make excuses for yet another violation of Julian's person "If there is anything I can do to help you....anything"

"I'd like to go back to work actually" Julian said standing up taller 

"Are you sure you're ready?" Miles asked 

"I need to...do something" Julian stated "Without something to occupy myself I'm just sitting around obsessing and it's not like I can spend all day in the holosuite fighting Garak!" he shot a smile to the Cardassian who returned it while Miles scowled and Sisko looked both surprised and concerned

"Fighting?" he asked

"The Doctor asked me to teach him to fight like a Cardassian" Garak explained "And I must say he is a very quick study, and talented, I look forward to our next session"

"Me too" Julian said a larger smile forming 

"Well I don't see anything wrong with that" Sisko said "What you both do in your free time is your own business, as for work Doctor..."

"I'll focus on research and only assisst in medical and surgical matters instead of lead" Julian said "I just really need to be doing something useful" 

Sisko pursed his lips and took a breath, to deny Julian would be a cruelty that he didn't want to act on, however if the Doctor wasn't ready, wasn't stable then lives could be at risk, but then he had said he'd work under supervision, willingly, though how long that would last Sisko didn't even want to guess. 

"Will you submit to an evaluation by the Station's councillor in the morning?" he asked at length 

"First thing" Julian agreed 

"Then if she agrees that you are fit for duty you may return to service one day from now" Sisko said and was unable to keep from smiling as he saw a brilliant one spread over Julian's face and a shine fill his shadowed eyes 

"Thank You Commander I promise I won't let you down".


	8. Chapter 8

The station councillor saw Julian the next morning. 

While not oposed to seeing a councillor, in fact Julian was all for it knowing that there was benefit in speaking about a trauma to someone who was not directly involved in the situation and could provide impartial advice and help or just a friendly ear and shoulder. He was however not ready in himself to speak about what had happened which he explained to the councillor as best he could, saying honestly that right now he couldn't put what had happened into words, he had to try and get everything straight in his head before he would be able to do that. 

Would returning to work help him with this did he think?, yes Julian believed it would as it would be giving him some sense of normalicy as it were.

What if someone brought up the subject of his rape?, Julian would simply state that it wasn't something he was comfortable talking about, and if necessery relinquish treatment to one of the nurses.

What if the patient were in critical need for his aid?, If they were that ill then they would not likely be talking at all!.

The councillor had laughed and agreed with that before moving on.

How did Julian feel within himself, how was doing?, Honestly?, he felt like he was somewhere between shocked, frightened, and numb

He didn't feel angry?, Not yet, Julian suspected it would come eventually but right now everything was still to raw.

Did he blame himself for what had happened?, did he think he deserved it in anyway, had been asking for it?. 

Here Julian had struggled to make an answer, the obvious response that was almost knee jerk was No, No, and No, nobody asked to be raped, nobody deserved it, but while an outside perspective could say that, while intelligently he too could say that his own inner doubts and fears said something different, constantly reminding him of how easily Dukat had over powered him, how he'd not so much bloodied the Cardassian's nose as he'd tried to fight him off, how out of the whole station Dukat had singled him out. What did that mean?, had he given some sign that he was.........easy?, a target?, that he wanted to be fucked by Dukat?. 

Julian didn't know, said it just felt too muddled right now to really answer to which the Councillor frowned clearly planning on not letting this matter drop during their sessions but would at present let Julian lead them himself. 

The biggest question of all was of course if Julian felt like he might want to harm himself, No, while he felt shitty, perhaps the shittiest he'd ever felt in his whole life he had no desire to destroy himself or cause damage to himself, and part of his desire to train with Garak was to find a proactive outlet for his emotions.

 

After the session was over the Councillor made the recomendation to Sisko that Julian be allowed to resume duty, but under supervision for the present and working only eight to ten hour shifts instead of the erratic pattern he normally followed.

"He is definately not a danger to himself" the Councillor stated "He's hurting, he's confused and upset, and he has a lot to work through but he isn't suicidal"

"And you think him fit for duty?" Sisko asked 

"Yes, it may also be an added aid to him to get some control back in his life"

Sisko sighed and picked up his baseball rolling it in his hand "What about his.......friendship with Garak?, do you think it's healthy for him to be spending time with another Cardassian after whats happened?"

The Councillor shrugged "He feels comfortable with Garak, they were friends before this took place and Garak was the one to lend aid straight after so I don't see anything unhealthy there. I don't think he is forming a dependency upon Garak, the training was something he asked for and if pummeling a punch bag helps him then I do not see a problem"

"You don't think Garak might.....take advantage of the situation?", Sisko didn't like asking this but he couldn't just dismiss the thought either, O'Brien had a point where Garak was concerned, he was a manipulative bastard and right now Julian was incredibly vulnerable it would be totaly remiss of him to ignore that possibility 

"I don't know Garak that well Commander, do you think there is a danger of such a thing happening?"

Sisko set the ball down and looked hard at the Councillor "Thats the problem, I'm not sure at all if there is a danger or not".

 

Infirmary

 

Being back in uniform and in his personal domain gave Julian something to smile about. 

There was both a relaxing familiarity to being in the infirmary surounded by bio-beds, moniters, medical equipment, and of course his staff, and a level of excited anticipation for what the day may bring.

His first surprise was a basket of goodies on his desk with balloons tied to it and a welcome back/ get well soon card from all his staff which made him grin and feel a warmth spreading through his belly for the fact he had been both missed, and that he was cared about by his staff.

Happily he shared out the chocolates and the cookies and settled into dealing with going over a protein test when the first minor injury arrived. 

Well it started as a minor injury but with inibriated Klingons who'd been hauled out of Quarks for causing a disturbance it didn't stay minor for very long.

The drunken Klingon refused to get on the bio-bed, struggling against Odo and one of the male Bajoran nurses while yelling out obscenities in Klingonese and stupidly stamped his foot on the ground jaring the previously minor greenstick fracture and turning it into a compound fracture as his tibia burst through the shin!.

Roaring like a wounded boar the Klingon sagged to the ground clutching at his leg while the Nurse winced and Odo rolled his eyes.

"Klingons!" he muttered 

"Never a dull moment!" Julian snickered going over to help them haul the Klingon up and place him on a Bio-bed which was far easier said than done considering the fact that the Klingon continued to fight them catching Julian in the face with his fist bloodying his lips 

"God sake get a syringe of ket and lets knock him out before he does anymore damage to himself" the Doctor snapped rubbing his jaw with one hand while leaning his weight over the furious Klingon and gripped his hand about the Klingon's flailing arm to prevent him doing anymore damage "Or to us!" he added 

"Need help?" the Locum Doctor inquired leaning against the doorway 

"Nah I'm just pinning a pissed Klingon with open leg fracture to the bed to pass the time!" Julian replied making the Nurse snicker while Odo remained stoic as ever   
"Get that Ket in him" he said to the Nurse who sunk thirty of Ketamin into the Klingon, normally thirty wouldn't touch a Klingon but with the level of alcohol in his system it had him flopping on the bed like a landed fish with his mouth wide open letting out the loudest snores Julian had ever heard!.

 

"Charming company I'm sure!" Odo dryly commented letting go of the Klingon's shoulders 

"Indeed" Julian muttered moving down to examin the leg, very carefully removing the boot and ripping the trousers open to get access to the limb 

"Want any help?" the Locum asked as a green looking Bajor came in and promptly vomited all over the floor "Oh by the Prophets!" 

"Looks like you've got your hands full already!" Julian snickered pleased to be dealing with broken limb rather than vomit, "Alright lets pull the leg, set the bone and get the bone knitter"

"Yes Doctor" the nurse said going to get the bone knitter while Julian took hold of the leg and glanced up at Odo

"Not squeamish are you?" he asked as he braced himself 

"Not in the least Doctor"

"Here we go then", pulling on the leg Julian forced the tibia back inside the shin then pushed down upon the exposed bone to get it back into correct alignment, the crunching sound of the bone moving made the Nurse wince while Odo mearly folded his arms over his chest   
"Glad you've got a strong stomach" Julian said taking the bone knitter and starting to heal the tibia 

"When will I be able to have the pleasure of his company in the lock up?" Odo asked 

"Not for at least twelve hours" Julian replied "With the Ket and this much alcohol in his system we'll need to moniter him, but in twelve hours he should have sobered up and just be hung over" 

Odo gave a passable attempt at a smile "Good to have you back at work Doctor" he said before turning on his heel and walking out of the room infirmary 

"Oh shit!", looking across the infirmary Julian couldn't help but to laugh as the Locum was unceramoniously covered in vomit from the Bajoran patient!

"Help me please!" a Bajoran Mother called coming in with a grizzling toddeler with bloody nose and skinned knees 

"Yeah it's definately good to be back!" Julian sighed and aproached the Bajoran Mother to see to the unhappy toddeler.

 

Holosuite 

 

"Sounds like you had a busy day of it" Garak commented as he deflected Julian's right cross and caught the Doctor's foot twisting his ankle just enough to keep Julian from fighting the hold and let go before he lost his balance 

"Minor injuries, the worst was the Klingon" Julian replied as they paused in their sparring to the get a drink of water

"Ah well at least it was only his own leg he broke and not anyone elses" Garak said eyeing the bruise on Julian's mouth and seriously fighting the impulse to go and feed said Klingon his own legs!

"I think Quarks ears were ringing after Odo had done with him considering it wasn't even Lunch and the Klingon was already rat arsed!"

Garak frowned "What does a rodents backside have to do with anything?", his brow ridges rose when Julian burst into laughter 

"I'm sorry!" he spluttered "It's just............, a rodents arse!" unable to help himself he broke into more giggles until finally he was able to calm himself enough to explain "Rat arsed is an expression, it means drunk"

"I wonder how such an expression came into being" Garak mused 

"God knows" Julian said giggling a little more and took another drink before jumping back up onto his feet "Ready to go again?" 

"Doctor have mercy on an aged tailor!" 

"Aged tailor my arse!" 

"There seems to be a great deal of arse in this discussion!" Garak said getting back onto his feet 

"Oh I'm just getting ready to kick yours!" 

A brow ridge rose again "Doctor do not make the mistake of growing over confident or will be your arse that is kicked!"

Julian grinned a wicked glint in his eyes "Bring it on!".

 

Of course it wasn't quite so easy to defeat Garak and Julian ended up limping back to his quarters with several new bruises and a couple of moves to practise in slow motion on his own for the next time they sparred.

While he'd had the option of eating at Quarks or going to the replimat after the panic attack the day before he opted to stay in his quarters and eat alone while perusing a book, well that had been the plan until he found Miles waiting for him on his door step so to speak.

"Been waiting long?" Julian asked 

"No I just got here, and what the hell happened to your face?" Miles said his expression darkening at the bruising on Julian's jaw and cheek 

"A drunk Klingon" Julian replied "And Garak!"

"Garak!, I bloody knew it!", moving like a man possessed O'Brien stormed off his fists clenched and clearly spoiling for a fight

"Miles?" Julian cried both confused and alarmed "What the hell.......?"

"He won't touch you again!" the Chief snarled over his shoulder "I'll make bloody sure of it!"

"Shit!" Julian hissed following after the Chief to stop him before he did something stupid.


	9. Chapter 9

Garak let out a contented sigh as he pressed a freshly replicated heat pad over the aching small of his back which had been twinging since his work out with Julian.

While he was thoroughly enjoying the sparring sessions with the Doctor he had to addmit, if only to himself that his advancing years were proving to make him ache in varies ways as the muscles of his once very toned muscular frame were put through their paces for the first time in several years. 

Really it was both depressing and undisciplined considering how much he'd allowed his body to slide into sloathful relaxation. The loss of inches on his biceps had only been matched by the added ones on his abdomen as his body had softened and expanded due to a far to sedate lifestyle.

Well no that was not the whole truth, Garak's age was also responsible for some of the muscle wastage and added fat, it seemed a universal concept really that all races had to endure as they grew older, thinning bones, lessened muscles, added pounds, and greying hair, even the super controlled Vulcans could not prevent such inevitabilities though they were probably far less vain over it than other races who veiwed their physiques emotionally rather than with cold hard logic.

 

Settling down in his chair with the heat pad against his back Garak set about massaging the dull aches out of his thighs and flexed his right leg where the knee joint twinged, Guls help him if he needed a replacement joint in a few years!, arthritis was one disease that modern medicine had not been able to cure, oh they could delay it, buy a person time but in the end the joints wore out as the body aged and all that could be done was pain relief and replacements.

On the brighter side however he was feeling far more energized and forfilled than he had for the past three years so a few aches and pains couldn't be really complained about, and the training sessions would help give him an edge for when he made his move on Dukat.

Sisko might have given up on bringing the bastard reptile to justice but Garak certainly had not. Justice need not be handed out in courts of law as the oh so pure Federation believed, one really only needed an appropriate moment to exact retribution for the crime and the punishment would be complete.

Garak smiled a cold sinister smile, the only real question was whether or not he should allow Dukat to live or simply kill him outright!?.

 

This question had him still pondering the pros and cons when his door chimed, and kept him quite distracted as he answered the door and left him hopelessly undefended when a very firm and strong fist smashed into his face!.

 

Garak staggered back clutching his suddenly aching chin and looked at the owner of the fist which was non other than a furious looking Chief of operations Miles O'Brien.

"I knew yer'd take advantage of him ye sick bastard!" the chief snarled his Irish accent thickened by anger, he stormed into Garak's room and punched him again this time in the eye making the ridge throb angrily and spread an almost numbing pain over Garak's forehead that had him momentarily wavering on consciousness which gave O'Brien the chance to get another hit in before Garak kicked up his defense and began to deflect the blows even getting in one of his own and raked his claw like nails down the side of O'Brien's face leaving four bleeding lacerations in their wake 

"I don't know what's gotten into you Chief but I am in no mood to play games" he growled struggling to keep a lid on his temper, if he truly lost control now then O'Brien would die and he doubted anyone would believe that he acted in self defense!.

"Oh ye damn well know yer Cardie bastard!" O'Brien spat his face a livid red and nostrils flared like a bulls in anger "Julian's a bleedin' innocent!, a wet behind the ears boy who don' know any better than t'trust the likes o'yer!, an ye an tha' sack o'shite Dukat took advantage of 'im!"

Garak let out a purely reptillian hiss spitting his spittle in the air as his anger grew closer to boiling point "Don't you ever compare me to that son of whore!" he growled "I would never hurt Julian in such a way", his own accent was thickened an he pronounced Julian as Shooli'en which only served to further enrage O'Brien who let out a roar and lunged at Garak wrapped his strong hands about his neck ridges in a merciless grip that sent waves of agony down the Cardassian's arms and back!.

Roaring in his own fury Garak reacted by wrapping his hands about the Chief's throat and body slamming him into the wall pinning him there and squeezing tight, cutting off O'Brien's air supply and watched with vindictive satisfaction at the Chief's face began to turn red and purple!.  
Coughing a spluttering O'Brien tried to break the grip kicking at Garak who simply part his legs and them trapped Miles's shins between them and locked then in a vice like grip that crushed them so hard that the bones were under threat of being snapped!, Miles was wavering on the edge of consciousness about to succumb to the lack of air when a voice cried out and he was suddenly dropped down onto the floor where he crumpled panting and coughing as he took in great lungfulls of air.

 

Panting and looking stricken Julian stood in Garak's quarters his eyes wild with shock.

"Doctor I know how this looks" Garak began "But I assure you I was merely defending myself........."

"I know" Julian said brushing past him to go to the Chief and check him over 

"You know?" 

Julian turned giving Garak a confused and bewildered look "He just went nuts outside my quarters and took off here!, I have no idea why!"  
"Why?, you know why!" Miles spluttered rising to his feet and clutching at his bruised throat "That bastard's hurt ye Julian!, he's jus' as bad as that shite Dukat an while I couldn't save yer from 'im I can save yer now!"

"Save......" Julian shook his head in confusion "Miles Garak hasn't hurt me he would never hurt me!" 

Garak allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction at Julian's words while Miles groaned in despair   
"Julian yer so naive" he said "Yer jus' can't see it can yer?, can't read it on 'is face and shinin' in 'is eyes", Miles pulled back his lips and glared at Garak "He's hungry fer yer, he looks at yer like a predator eyes it's prey!"

"Which is so different to the covertous glances you give the Doctor when you think no one is looking?" Garak countered knowing that it would rile O'Brien to know that his "Crush" had not gone as unnoticed as he had probably hoped it would have 

"Garak don't!" Julian said raising his hand palm up to ward Garak off but the Cardassian was far too incensed to be quieted and instead went on raising his voice some what and smirking at the Chief 

"It's isn't it Chief?" he goaded "You desire the good Doctor as far more than a friend, you crave him like a drug!, you want his supple flesh to fill your empty bed now that your wife is on Bajor......!"

"Shut up!" Miles roared lunging at Garak knocking Julian to the floor as he surged past him, Garak however had been expecting this and brought his knee up into O'Briens stomach winding him painfully and a brutal thump across the back had O'Brien on the floor

"Stop it!" Julian screamed jumping between Garak and O'Brien "Just stop it right now please!", shaking like a leaf he stood between them his arms spread wide and a frightened shine in his eyes "What the hell is wrong with you two?" he cried "You're acting like a pair of adolescents fighting over a girl!"

"Which would make you the girl!" Garak said without thinking and mentally kicked himself as Julian flinched 

"I tol' yer Julian" Miles grunted struggling up "Bastard wants yer, he's been lookin' t'get in yer pants since the firs' day 'e saw yer!"

"Just as you have since your marriage fell apart!" Garak shot back again without thinking as his words just inadvertantly addmitted that he did in fact desire Julian sexually 

"Yer gotta stay away from 'im Julian" Miles said getting to his feet and placing his hands on Julian causing the Doctor to jerk violently back, "Chrissakes I'm not gonna hurt yer!" the Chief swore "I'd never do anythin' t'hurt yer!"

"You hurt Garak though!" Julian cried 

"Because he 'urt yer!"

"No he didn't!" Julian yelled "He was just training me!, did you learn how to fight without getting a few bruises?, haven't you gotten scraped up when sparring?"

"That ain't the point!" Miles shouted back "The point is he wants to fuck yer!"

"As do you!" Garak snarled "Addmit it Chief you are acting like a jealous unrequited lover because it's exactly what you are!"

"Well you jus' wan' 'im all t'yersell!" Miles shouted "Yer wanna lock 'im away from the universe, keep 'im hidden like a toy yer can play with whenever yer want!"

"And what exactly do you want?" Garak laughed mockingly "To have him as your "Mistress?", a bit on the side?, something to use when you get an itch you can't scratch and your wife isn't around to appease it!"

"You Son of a.........."

"STOP!".

 

Julian's scream was so loud that it made even Garak's ears hurt!, panting and shaking Julian glared at both his friends   
"Stop this shit right now!, I can't take anymore of it!" he let out a sound that was half way between a sob and scream raking his hands through his hair and paced the room   
"I thought that being raped by Dukat was bad!, that being at his mercy was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me, because what else could ever be worse than that?" he stared at the two men before him his eyes shining with tears "But somehow this is worse" he whispered the tears starting to fall down his cheeks   
"My best friends at war with each other over me!, trying to kill each other because of me!"

"Julian" Miles sighed trying to reach for him but Julian backed away crying out

"Don't!" he said holding up a finger "Don't touch me, don't.........anything!" 

"Doctor" Garak began but was also shushed by the Doctor 

"None of your silver tongued double talk!", letting out a grunt of frustration Julian wiped a hand over his face and shook his head "I'm a conveniant victim?" he asked "Is that why Dukat took me?, why you're doing this?, or am I such a subconscious slut that I have fuck me written over my face!?" 

"No!"

"Of course not!"

"Why would you even think that?" Miles cried

"Well the hell else am I supposed to think?" Julian all but screamed at him "With you two acting like this?, what was it you called me Chief?, Naive?, is that what I am to you?, an ingorant child?"

"No!" Miles cried "I never thought that!, I never would, you can be........."

"Be what?" Julian yelled his voice becoming strained and face reddened "Annoying?, idealistic?, arrogant?, any other choice words you'd like to apply to me?"

Miles pressed his lips together in a thin line and grit his teeth even though it pained his jaw that was aching from the blow Garak had given his face 

Shaking his head Julian looked at Garak fresh tears brimming in his eyes "You once said I was smug and sanctimonious and that I hardly knew much about anything"

Garak winced recalling the spiteful words he'd thrown at Julian during his withdrawal, wished they could taken back, wished all of this could be taken back right now as Julian gazed at him looking heart broken and more on the edge than ever.

Twisting his lips into a bitter smile Julian laughed without humour "Well I guess any smugness got beaten right out didn't it?" he said "And I know far more now than ever!" shaking his head he turned on his heel heading for the door while muttering under his breath "Damn both of you, damn us all!".

 

For a moment neither Garak or Miles did anything but stare at the door Julian had just stormed through, then slowly their eyes met in painful accusation and addmittance of guilt that had them looking away again just as quickly.

Running a hand over his face Miles swore colourfully in Gaelic and stormed out heading for Quarks bar to drink himself into a stupor and left Garak to turn to his table with a roar of fury put his fist right through it!.


	10. Chapter 10

Julian staggered along the corridor that lead to his quarters. 

His breathing was so erratic that is was making his heart pound far too fast and his head spin dizzily making his already tear blurred vision even more dim. 

With a choked sob he stumbled and clutched at the wall trying to make himself keep going, to get into his room before he collapsed completely but his body was shaking so badly that he wasn't able to coordinate his limbs properly and to his shame ended up falling to his knees.

The embaressment of this only added to the distress he was already feeling making him sob even harder and hyperventilate all the more, dimly he thought he heard his name being called but noise of the blood rushing past his ears made it too hard to hear, then suddenly there were hands on his shoulders, a body behind him and his terror kicked up as images of Dukat grabbing him filled his mind.

Crying out incoherantly he struggled against the hands with shaking uncoordinated moves to try and break free 

"Doctor Stop!" 

Julian hardly registered the words and continued to struggle until he was spun round and pressed up against the wall and found himself facing Commander Sisko.

 

Sisko had been heading for his own quarters when he'd heard the unmistakable sound of crying in the corridor. As both a Father and a decent human being he couldn't just turn a blind eye to this and went to investigate only to find Julian on his knees in the throes of a panic attack. 

On seeing who was holding him Julian did stop fighting but couldn't stop the panic attack which was keeping him sobbing and shaking so hard that Sisko was struggling to keep hold of him.  
"Doctor......Julian whats wrong?, do you need to go the infirmary?" Sisko asked in a gentle but commanding voice, while he was more than willing to comfort the Doctor if thats what he needed he also knew he needed to take charge here and the best way to get him to respond was by acting as his Commander.

Gulping hard Julian shook his head "No, no Sir" he managed to force out trying very hard to control his breathing, the fact that Sisko was seeing him in this state made him feel about two inches tall.

He was meant to be the CMO of this station, meant to be responsible, calm and collected not sobbing like a child and needing to be picked up off the floor!.   
The shame of this added to his misery and sparked a sharp fear at the back of his mind that Sisko would find him unfit to continue on as CMO, would have him sent back to Starfleet in disgrace and request a new Doctor, one that didn't get himself kidnapped and raped, one that didn't cause members of the station to start fighting over him!. 

 

While he didn't know what was causing Julian's distress Sisko could see that he was rapidly heading into another panic attack and while going to the infirmary would have been his first thought he decided against it since his own Quarters were closer and wanted to at least give the Doctor some privacy even if he had to call for the medics to join them there.

Wrapping an arm about the Doctor's shoulder he tugged him away from the wall "Come on" he said in gentle tone "Lets get you out of this corridor"

Julian was in no state to argue with Sisko or to fight him and so just let himself be taken along to the commander's chamber and guided inside and sat down on the couch.

"Alright just stay there a minute and I'll be right back" Sisko said hurrying to the replicator and ordered a paper bag to be replicated, while he might not have much medical knowledge he did recall someone saying that breathing into a paper bag helped people having anxiety attacks so he decided to at least give it a try for Julian and took the bag to him.

The Doctor registered some surprise but took the beg and began to use it calming his breathing and slowly regaining control over his body, patiently Sisko waited until Julian had fully calmed down before he went once again to the replicator and ordered them both drinks, a Raktajino for himself and an extra sweet Tarkelian tea for Julian, he paused for minute then turned back to the replicator and ordered a plate of double chocolate chip cookies the kind that Jake loved when he was upset and when all said and done Julian wasn't that much older than Jake, in fact right now sat slumped on the couch pale, thin, and desolate he looked terribly young and fragile.

 

Carrying the food and drinks back over to the couch Sisko set them down on the coffee table and took care handing the Doctor his tea since his hands were still shaking and made sure that he took a cookie   
"You can't afford to loose any weight Doctor you look thin enough for the wind to blow you away right now!"

This at least earned a small smile from Julian who nibbled dispondantly at the cookie   
"Do....can you talk about what happened?" Sisko asked 

Julian wet his lips and sighed shaking his head, "I can call the coucillor if you'd rather speak with her?" 

"No, no it's......it's just", Julian bit the inside of his lips "I don't want to get anyone into trouble"

Sisko frowned, he'd expected Julian to have suffered a flashback of what Dukat had done to him, to have been upset by an overly large crowd, to have had some idiot say something stupid, not to say something like this.

"Doctor no ones going to get into trouble" he said carefully "Least of all you" 

"Even if it was my fault?" Julian asked his voice a whisper as a single tear rolled down his cheek 

"What?, what was your fault?" Sisko asked confused 

"I didn't know" Julian whispered shaking his head and looking to the ceiling "I mean I thought that maybe Garak was interested but I never knew that Miles was!"

"You didn't think that Chief O'Brien was what?" Sisko asked 

Julian looked at him then shifted his gaze clearly embaressed which made it very clear what he was talking about. 

Sisko took a very deep breath and clenched his knuckles keeping a tight reign on his temper, now wasn't the time to loose it, he could do that later when confronting his chief of operations and a certain plain and simple tailor about all this!, of all the times for the two of them to declare having.......desires for the Doctor!, hadn't either of them got a brain inside their skulls?, the last thing Julian needed right now was this sort of crap!.

Running a hand over his face Sisko sighed "Non of this is your fault Julian" he said "Not Dukat, not Chief O'Brien, and certainly not Garak"

"Then why did they all pick me?" Julian asked looking at Sisko with tear filled eyes "Dukat said I was pathetic, Miles said I'm annoying, Garak said I'm ignorant!", he took a shuddering breath crushing the nibbled on cookie in his hand "I must be something so........twisted, so utterly vile that I drive people to do things like this"

"No No!" Sisko moved forward and took Julian's hands into his own setting the tea on the floor so it wouldn't be spilled, "You listen to me Julian Bashir non of this is your fault, you have done nothing to deserve this, nothing at all"

"Then why me?" Julian asked 

"I don't know" Sisko said "I don't know what drove Dukat, the man is evil as far as I am concerned, but as for Garak and O'Brien I would say it's because you are a very handsome man, as well as being compassionate, intelligent, and talented in many areas, certainly not because you are doing something wrong"

Julian sniffed his chin wobbling as tears began to spill down his cheeks "I wish I could believe that" 

Shoving aside any thoughts of correct command behavier Sisko reacted as a Father and moved pulling Julian into his arms and held him close letting him cry himself out on his shoulder.

By the time he had done so Julian was beyond exhausted as Sisko didn't think twice about settling him down on the couch and laying a blanket over him.

As Jake came in he held up a hand to quiet the boy before he disturbed the Doctor and instead took him to the other end of the room to talk quietly away from Julian.

"Is the Doctor alright?" Jake asked stealing a glance at the Doctor, of course he had heard what had happened just like the rest of the station but had yet to see Julian in the flesh since the attack 

"Julian is...fragile" Sisko said being honest but not betraying Julian's confidence or burdening his Son with matters he really didn't want a fifteen year old dealing with   
"He needs support right now, a lot of support"

Jake nodded rolling his lips over his teeth "Will he be spending the night here?"

"I think so" Sisko said "So I'd appreciate it if you'd be quiet tonight"

"Sure Dad, no problem" 

Sisko felt a warm glow of pride fill his chest at his Son's understanding and compassion, Jennifer would have been proud of how he had turned out.

As Jake went to his room Sisko sat down at the dining table and sighed already thinking about what the morning would bring and the conversations he needed to have with Garak and O'Brien.


	11. Chapter 11

Julian's sleep was disturbed several times by nightmares during the night his cries of fear rousing Sisko from his own sleep but leaving Jakes undisturbed, unlike his Father who when Jake had been a baby had learned to sleep lightly and awaken at the slightest sound of something wrong, could still sleep through pretty much anything.

Julian was understandably mortified to have ended up sleeping in his Commanders quarters and to have awoken him with his bad dreams. 

Despite Sisko assuring him that he had nothing to reproach himself for the Doctor felt about three feet tall and doubted he could possibly sink lower in anyones opinion of him and his competancy.

Thoroughly humiliated and desperate for some privacy he had insisted on going back to his own quarters despite the fact it was two in the morning and left the Commander seething all the more.

While most of Sisko's fury was directed at Dukat who more than deserved it after what he had done to Julian, a good portion of his ire was aimed at O'Brien and Garak.

He had suspected that Garak might harbour feelings for the Doctor that were not mearly platonic, he and Dax had spoken of it more than once when it became clear that the Doctor was going to keep up his weekly lunches and cultivate a friendship with the Tailor/Spy/Gardener/Whatever else comes to mind!.

Sisko had been concerned for Julian's safety, a rather protective Fatherly instinct had made him worry for his CMO and want to protect him from harm, to nurture his youthful innocence as long as possible before life experiances robbed him of it as time inevitably would. 

Where Kira and at first O'Brien too had been keen to have Julian thrown in at the deep end learn to either sink or swim and loose his over enthuseastic lust for life and adventure, Sisko had wanted to preserve it, had wanted Julian to remain young and care free for as long as possible knowing all to well that once that innocent rosey tinted view of the universe was gone there was no getting it back and just like with Jake he didn't want Julian to become hardened or cynical anytime soon. 

Dax had been of the opinion in regards to Garak that they should let things play out without intefering, Odo kept a close eye on the Cardassian anyway and would alert them if Julian was truly in any danger, and she had said that life experiances asside Julian was not a total innocent, he was experianced, more than experianced in matters of the flesh and could certainly handle himself if things progressed with Garak in that direction!.

As time had passed and Garak had seemed content to let things progress at their own pace without rushing anything Sisko had relaxed and decided to do as Dax had suggested thinking that perhaps there was some honor in the Cardassian after all.

Now he was wondering if he should be regreting that decision, he would have thought that Garak would have known that now of all times was not the moment to declare sexual interest in Julian!. 

The same could be said for Miles O'Brien on that score, but with him Sisko was even more furious. Where Garak was a free man so to speak, had no spouse or in fact any family at all it seemed, O'Brien was a married man with a daughter!, he could offer Julian nothing but a sordid affair behind Keiko's back risking all their reputations and ripping his family apart.

Even without Dukat's assult on him O'Brien should have known better than to approach Julian, at least unless he was serious about ending his marriage with Keiko, making a clean break with her and divorcing so he could go to Julian as a free man and give him something more than an adulterous affair.

What the hell his Chief of Operations had been thinking in making advances on Julian right now Sisko couldn't begin to fathom.   
He could understand that O'Brien was lonely, hell he missed Jennifer sorely, he knew what it was like to have a cold empty bed, to miss the touch of the woman you love, for the only release to be found in your own palm instead of the loving embrace of your wife. Yes Sisko understood that all too well, and yes he had allowed his mind to fantasize more than once about the people he was closest too, nothing he would ever act on, just a little stress relief in private that occaisionally featured some of his crew, but a fantasy was all it was with him, a wanking day dream to ease tension not an actual desire for a relationship to form which is what O'Brien seemed to have developed for Julian.

Was it love?. Sisko doubted it, O'Brien was in love with Keiko, he'd move heaven and earth for her, his feelings for Julian was of the physical, he spent a lot of time with the young Doctor who was, even for a man as heterosexual as Sisko himself had to addmit very, very pretty, and with Keiko being unhappy and moody or off on Bajor it was not a surprise that O'Brien had latched onto Julian and begun to take an interest in him. But O'Brien should have known better than ever act on those feelings, especially at a time like this when Julian needed love and support, platonic familial love not sexual demands, he'd been horrifically assulted and instead of getting the support he needed from his friends he was being pestered for his attentions!.

Sisko didn't know how Julian felt but he knew how he himself would feel if he was subjected to something like this and there was no way in hell he was going to let this stand, Julian was his friend, was his Sons friend, but more than that he was a junior officer under Sisko's command and protection, Garak and O'Brien had put him in danger, maybe not physical danger but certainly mental and emotional danger and for that Sisko would make sure they understood what they had done and that they made amends for it.

*******************************************************************************

 

Miles awoke laying across his bed using his elbow as a pillow with a head that felt like it had been impaled by an axe and a gut that felt like he had a typhoon going on inside him!.

Groaning he staggered from the bed and stumbled his way to the bathroom barely making it in time to double over the toilet before he was vomiting up what felt like half the quadrant!.

When his stomach finally stopped turning itself inside out he got up and went to the sink running water and splashing his face before cleaning his teeth and contemplating whether or not to shower or bath. 

A bath would help sooth his aching muscles but a shower would be quicker.

At that moment his decision was made for him as his com sounded and Sisko ordered him to his ready room in ten minutes!.

"Could at least let me 'ave breakfast!" he said to himself turning the shower on and getting in to clean up and then hurriedly dressed pausing to look longingly at the replicator thinking of a good strong coffee and a totally unhealthy fry up to clear his hang over but sighed deeply and made himself leave for the ready room hoping that Sisko wouldn't need him for very long and he could go to the replimat for his very much needed breakfast.

 

*******************************************************************************

 

Garak awoke in much the same state as the Chief, only he had never made it to his bed, he had collapsed on his sofa after drowning himself in kanar and awoke to his own com instead of waking on his own and was also ordered to the Commanders ready room.  
Surveying the damage to his quarters Garak shuddered with more than the usual chill of the air as he recalled the night before, his and O'Brien's fight, Julian's devestation and abrupt departure. 

"I couldn't have messed up more if I had tried" he muttered with a self chastising grimance, as much as he wanted to stay where he was and wallow in self pity he had an appointment it seemed with the Commander of the station and so forced himself to get up and go to his small bathroom to get freshed up before heading to Ops and Sisko's ready room.

 

********************************************************************************

 

Sisko had considered speaking to both O'Brien and Garak separately but he had no desire to repeat this conversation since it was bound to be uncomfortable and upsetting so he chose to speak to them both together.

Miles arrived first and stood at attention before the desk looking tired and sickly which was not at all helped by the fact he was being made to stand and wait for the arrival of Garak who appeared five minutes later.

Both men glared at each other, they both bore bruises and scratches from their fight and shifted uncomfortably before Sisko who regarded them the same way he would a stroppy teenager who'd been out all night and rolled in at dawn stinking like a brewery!.

"I think you both know why you are here" he said picking up his baseball and tossing it back and forth between his hands

"I believe so Commander" Garak said standing up straighter and placing his hands behind his back 

"Yes Sir" Miles mumbled dropping his gaze to his boots

"Look at me when you are speak Mr O'Brien" Sisko growled fisting his baseball so tightly it squeaked under the pressure

"Sorry Sir" Miles said looking up.

 

Sisko stared hard at the two men before him his eyes narrowed and expression hard   
"I am not even sure where to start" he addmitted "Frankly I'm not even sure what to say to the two of you except that I have never been so disgusted by the actions of two people before in my life!", rising to his feet he paced "I thought Gul Dukat was the most repugnant individual I had ever had the misfortune to meet, I thought his actions against Julian were the very worst thing imaginable that any person could do to another, and yet!", he turned having been looking out the window back to the two men before his desk "Dukat's intent was to hurt Julian, was to cause distress, he intended to harm and he caused it but you two?", he smiled without any humour "You two claim to care for Julian, you claim to be his friends, and yet you attack each other in front of him, damage his already very fragile self esteem and leave him in such a state I found him collapsed in the corridor hyperventilating himself into a violent fit!".

As he spoke Sisko's voice was getting louder and louder and his expression darker by the second, when he slammed his baseball down on the table the resounding thump made the men jump. 

"I would really like to know what the hell possessed the pair of you to act the way you did!" he snapped at them "To think it was a good idea to reveal your......."Feelings" to Julian and hurt him so much that he thinks he is to blame for everything!"

Both men had the grace to look chastened but Sisko wasn't done, he wanted them both to know the depths of the dispear they had thrown Julian into before giving them any leway

"Last night he cried himself to sleep on my couch after suffering the most brutal panic attack I have ever seen. He called himself vile and twisted, blamed himself for your animosity towards each other, for Dukats assult on him, and thoroughly believes he is repugnant and disgusting!", Sitting down heavily Sisko lay his palms flat on the desk "So I would like to know why the two of you drove him to this, please explain to me why you did this".

 

O'Brien had gone from looking vaguely sick to utterly ashamed, his posture had slumped, he was curled in on himself and his eyes were shifting nervously about the room as he sweated with discomfort.

Garak did not show his discomfort quite so physically but the set of his mouth was uneasy in Sisko's opinion and his eyes looked troubled rather than calculating.

"I am waiting!" Sisko barked 

Miles shifted his weight and cleared his throat "I don't know what to say Sir" he said "I never meant to hurt Julian though"

Garak snorted humourlessly "No you just wanted to make him your male Mistress!"

"Which is no better than what you want to make him!" Miles shot back heatedly and was hissed at by Garak 

"On the contrary I would offer a true and pure union not some sordid affair behind closed doors!"

"True and Pure!" Miles snorted "From a Cardassian!"

"ENOUGH!" Sisko bellowed banging his fists on the table "This ends right here right now!", he rose to his feet and glared at them both "I was hoping that the two of you would see the error of your actions, that you would at least have the decency to show some contrition but it seems that neither of you can even manage to do that!"

Shaking his head Sisko looked sickened "I didn't want to have to do this but under the circumstances I do not feel I have any choice in the matter. From this moment neither of you is to get within twenty feet of Dr Bashir, if either of you require medical attention you will seek out a Bajoran medic not Dr Bashir, you will not speak to him, attempt to approach him, or do anything to gain his attention, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Sir" Miles said obediant as any Starfleet officer 

Garak bared his teeth "I do not believe you have any command over me Commander, I am not a Starfleet officer or a Federation citizen"

"No" Sisko said with an oily smile "You are an exiled Cardassian living on this station by my good will and let me assure you Mr Garak if you attempt to seek out Dr Bashir that good will, will dry up over night and you will be out the nearest airlock, do you understand?" 

As stubborn as he was Garak knew when to addmit defeat and in this case Sisko had won, unhappily he nodded his head in agreement and grit his teeth tight

"Very well then" Sisko said "Both dismissed".

 

Giving each other glares of sheer hatred Garak and O'Brien turned to leave just as a pale and distressed Dax burst in without seeking addmittance first which was most unlike her

"Dax?" Sisko asked a horrible feeling spreading through his stomach 

"The infirmary just called" she said in a shaky voice "It's Julian, he tried to kill himself!".


	12. Chapter 12

After leaving the Sisko's quarters in the middle of the night Julian had gone back to his own but had found no peace there.

At first he'd laid on the bed but after an hours tossing and turning he'd gotten up again and headed into the lounge to read, but that hadn't worked, he couldn't concentrate on the words, his mind kept on coming back to Dukat, Garak, and Miles.

Despite what Sisko had said about none of this being his fault he couldn't help but feel that it was, and dear God what must Sisko think of him?.

First he goes and gets himself kidnapped and raped by Dukat, then he causes the chief of operations to fight with a civilian, then he collapses in the corridor and has to be picked up and comforted like a child by Sisko himself!, and then to top it all off he goes and wakes the commander by screaming with nightmare in the night!.

Could he really be anymore pathetic and useless?, could he possibly shame himself anymore?. 

Sniffing and wiping a few scant tears from his cheeks Julian pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his cheek upon them rocking gently back and forth.

He really needed to go to sleep, he had work in just a few hours.

Work!, he gave an unhappy snort of misery, he doubted very much he'd even still have a job come morning, no doubt Sisko would be contacting Starfleet demanding a different CMO, one who wasn't so "Young!" as Dax put it or as "Naive and annoying" as Miles said, or as "Arrogant and over enthuseastic" as Kira had declared him.

No doubt Starfleet would be kind in their wording at demoting Julian, they'd say it was to give him a much needed change of pace and some rest after his ordeal, they'd simply recall him to earth with a few vague noises about assigning him to a ship or research post, then weeks would go by and nothing would happen, he would be left on Earth with nothing to do, would be fobbed off every time he tried to contact Starfleet to found out about his new assignment, be told there were "Unavoidable delays", he might try to get locum work at the hospitals on earth but would be refused by the fact he might be "Recalled to duty" at any moment, when really no one wanted a Doctor who was incapable of taking care of himself, and then after a year or so Starfleet would finally aknowledge his requests for reassignment and state that after so long out of service he was to far behind with current events and would be stood down as an officer.

Then he would have nothing, he'd just be a disgraced starfleet officer and a failed Doctor living in some non descript apartment on earth with nothing to look forward to but death after an uneventful disappointing life.

 

Silent tears rolled down Julian's pale cheeks as he imagined all this, imagined himself on earth growing old and frail, disowned by his parents who couldn't bare the shame of his failure, rejected by any of his friends who didn't want to be associated with such a pathetic excuse of a human being.

He'd end up as that loser who the teenagers made fun of everytime he went out, the waster who'd had everything and let it slip through his fingers, the man who no one wanted to know or spend anytime with.

The thought of such a life made Julian sick to his soul. He was a social animal, he needed company, friends, lovers, to be alone was to be......dead. 

Such a life to him would be a living death, in fact death would be preferable, very preferable indeed. After all considering what he had to look forward to, his humiliating relief of duty and so on what was the point in living?.

 

********************************************************************************  
Infirmary

 

As if in a dream Julian walked into the infirmary, he felt disconected with everything around him, he wasn't hearing or seeing anyone as he made his way to the dispensary and picked up a hypospray and a vial of drugs, turning and walking to his officer he comanded a lock down of the door and went to sit at his desk staring at the drugs in his hand for several moments before inserting them into the spray and pressing it against his throat.

He had tried to write a suicide note, had started one to his parents, had attempted one for Sisko but in the end nothing he wrote seemed to make sense and in all honesty his heart wasn't in it, after all wouldn't they all be happier once he was dead?.

Setting his com badge on the desk and tracing it with his finger tips one last time Julian took a deep breath and injected the drugs into his system.

Within seconds Julian was doubled over with a searing pain in his chest that spread down his left arm, unable to breath he gagged and choked as his body naturally tried to fight for air, but the fight didn't last long as darkness spread over his vision and he slid from the chair to lay across the floor taking several items from his desk with him that clattered as they fell.

 

Worried by the Doctor's odd behavior and the noise coming from his office Jabara hurriedly went to knock on the door to see if he was alright. After a few moments of this and getting no response she called the duty doctor who removed the door lock via a medical over ride so they could get inside where they found Julian on the floor with his lips turning blue.  
"By the prophets!" Jabara gasped as the Doctor hurried to Julian's side and felt for a pulse 

"Get an intubation tube, bag, and a portable cardio stimulator kit now!" the Duty doctor barked at her moving Julian flat on his back and lifting his head to open his mouth and began CPR, two breaths and then eight compressions, two then eight, two then eight

"Get a bio-bed ready" he ordered as nurse Bandee as she came in after Jabara, nodding her head the Bajoran nurse hurried to do just that "Jabara I need you take over compressions while I intubate" he said 

"Yes Doctor" Jabara replied placing her hands over Julian's chest and beginning compressions, while the Doctor readied the intubation tube and carefully inserted it down Julian's throat, fitted the bag and squeezed 

"The beds ready Doctor" Bandee reported panting a little from running "Two nurses are standing by" 

"Right take over breathing" the doctor ordered moving to get the cardio stimulator ready, as he did so his boot hit the spent hypospray knocking it to the side where Jabara caught sight of the drug Julian had used 

"Oh by the Prophets he used potassium!" she moaned 

"Damnit!" the Doctor cursed to himself "Potassium!, of all the drugs in the universe why'd he have to use that one!", charging up the stimulator he ordered Jabara off the chest and placed the pads over Julian who's body arched up off the floor "Pulse check" he barked at Jabara who felt Julian's wrist and shook her head "Charging to three sixty, and clear", again Julian's body arched off the floor but again there came no response from his heart.

Growling the Doctor shook his head "Computer ready for emergency medical transport to bio-bed"

"Doctor?" Bandee asked

"We're pissing in the wind here he needs strong treatment" the Doctor stated "Computer transport!", seconds later all four were moved and Julian was laid on the bio-bed that began to shriek loudly 

"Dussa get a hypo spray 10 ml of calcium cloride, another ten of bicarb, and prepare one of epinepherine just incase" the Doctor ordered, hurriedly the Bajoran nurse ran to the dispensary to get the drugs while the Doctor turned to the other 

"Zolim set up a IV drip, dextrose and insuline in saline solution and get it pumping through him fast" 

"Yes Doctor"

"Alright everyone clear and shocking", the boi-bed emitted an electric jolt through Julian and for a few second the top of his heart beat but not the bottom and quickly stopped again 

"Dussa wheres that hypo!?" the Doctor barked 

"Here, here!" Dussa said hurrying back in his normally placid face flustered and red with worry, the Doctor took the sprays and emptied them into Julian and cleared the medical staff again to shock Julian once more, this time there was a longer effect his heart managing to beat fully for a few second before failing again 

"Come on Julian you are not giving up on us!" the Doctor growled "Dussa get that epinepherine ready" 

"It is Doctor, should........should we tell the senior staff?"

The doctor looked up at him pausing for a second before nodding his head, if he failed to get Julian's heart started within the next few minutes then there wouldn't be any point in continuing and if Julian died then the Commander would want to be present.

While Dussa was contacting Ops the Doctor tried to stimulate Julian's heart once again this time injecting him with the epinepherine to try and shock his system but once again Julian's heart didn't hold it's beat   
"Alright Jabara back on the chest, Bandee keep his ventilation going" the Doctor ordered heading for the dispensary himself for another vial of adrenaline only this time instead of getting a hypo spray he got a long stemmed needled syringe and filled it with the adrenaline. 

He was walking back over to Julian when Sisko, Garak, and Miles burst into the infirmary all panting from running from Ops 

"Doctor?" Sisko asked his face pasty grey

"I don't know yet" the Doctor replied

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph don't do this to me!" O'Brien whispered crossing himself while Garak stood like a statue staring at Julian's unresponsive form on the bed 

"Alright off the body" the Doctor ordered but instead of shocking Julian again he tore open Julian's shirt and felt over his left breast between his ribs for his heart, "If this doesn't do it nothing will!" he said and then sunk the syringe straight into the organ emptying the contense!

Everyone in the room held their breath as Julian's eyes shot open and he took a single breath his heart sputtering weakly 

"Syncronizing shock now, Clear!" the Doctor ordered giving Julian a mild shock to syncronize his heartbeat again.   
The following sound of a regular beat of Julian's heart was music to everyone's ears

"Alright stay still now Dr Bashir you're going to be fine" the Doctor said as Julian automatically struggled against the tube down his throat 

"Jabara ten ccs of diazapam" he ordered wanting Julian relaxed and sleeping to give his body some much needed rest 

Brushing tears from her eyes Jabara hurried went to the get the tranquilizor passing an openly weeping O'Brien, a very relieved Sisko and Garak

"Lets set up a catheta and keep running fluids through him, I want to flush his system completely"

"Right away Doctor" Bandee whispered past the lump in her throat

After sedating Julian and gently removing the intubation tube to put him on oxygen via a nasal tube the Duty Doctor went to speak with Sisko.

"He came into the Infirmary this morning took a hypospray and a vial of potassium, locked himself in his office and injected it into his neck" 

"Potassium" Garak whispered looking sick 

"Had Nurse Jabara not acted as fast as she did then..........there wouldn't have been anything we could do" the Doctor said 

"Will he be alright?" Sisko asked his voice horse and his eyes constantly looking over towards Julian 

The Doctor looked back over to the bed and sighed "It's too early to tell, the next thirty six hours will be critical, his heart has under gone tremendous strain, and we've yet to see if his liver and kidneys will be damaged"

"What about his brain?" Garak asked not taking his gaze off Julian for a second "He was without oxygen and blood supply was he not?"

"Yes but he has been receiving CPR almost as long as his heart was not beating" The Doctor said "But, like with all cases of resuscitation there is a chance of brain damage", Miles made a choked noise in his throat clamping a hand over his mouth as if he were going to vomit

"As I said it's too early to tell" the Doctor stated and drew a deep breath "I need to get back to him"

"Of course Doctor" Sisko said "Please keep us informed"

"Certainly Commander".

 

Sisko dragged a hand down over his face and turned to look at O'Brien and Garak but anything he'd been going to say died on his lips, there was no greater punishment, not stronger reprimand than this, than seeing the man they loved laying on a bio-bed fighting for his life, the life he had tried to end himself. 

Sisko had wanted them both to understand the deep effect their actions had had on Julian but never had he wanted them to reach that understanding like this.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could someone write a fic for me?, a companion piece to S4 Epi1+2 way of the warrior, in which instead of saving Odo from being killed by a Klingon Julian saves Garak but then gets run through with a bat'leth and nearly bleeds to death in Garak's arms as the Cardassian fights to keep him alive. 
> 
> Pre-slash or gen is fine but Slash is prefered, and maybe some vitriol from Dukat?

Hours after his early morning bollocking from Sisko, Miles was sat alone in his quarters staring into space.

Seeing Julian in that bio-bed pale and literally on the very edge of death had been like a nightmare suddenly coming true.   
He doubted he would ever get the sound of that infernal flat line heart moniter out of his head, or forget the sight of Julian's body arching off the bed as they electric shocks surged through him trying to restart his heart after he himself had stopped it beating.

Just how bloody far had he and Garak pushed Julian to make him think that suicide was his best option?. 

Never before in his life had Miles Edward O'Brien felt disgusted with himself, oh he'd been left kicking himself after a few fuck ups, but right now he truely felt sick to his stomach of himself. 

Here he was a grown bloody man heading rapidly into middle age acting like a teenager who's balls had hardly dropped!. 

He had known that Julian was very fragile right now, needed gentility, understanding, help, and he'd gone and behaved like a half wit drunk, throwing his weight and fists around, making wild accusations, and shatterd what was left of Julian's self esteem which he had already known was not half as strong as he made out with that brash, playboy attitude, and had driven him to sinking a hypospray of potassium into his neck and very nearly dying!.

 

Miles groaned and ran a hand over his face wishing for the first time in many years that he had his old family Priest Father Sullivan to speak to. 

While not an overly devout Catholic Miles did occaisionally recite the Lords prayer and Hail Mary, not often but sometimes when he'd felt the need to be closer to God he had done so. 

He could of course pray now but honestly he felt more the need for confession than prayer, but sadly the only priests upon DS9 were Bajoran and Miles just didn't feel as comfortable talking to one of them as he would Father Sullivan.

 

Presently his com chimed and he rose from the couch and went to unit   
"Chief you have an incoming transmission from Bajor" the com officer said 

"Patch it through" Miles said already guessing that it was Keiko calling for their weekly chat, Christ when did it become more a chore to speak to his wife than a pleasure?.

Forcing a smile to his face that did not reach his eyes Miles greeted Keiko who gasped at the sight of the bruises on his face and neck 

"What happened?" she cried worry clear in her voice

The question was like open the flood gates and Miles found himself opening up to Keiko in desperation to get this off his chest.

"Julian was raped, that bastard Dukat kidnapped and raped him"

"Oh my God!", Keiko covered her mouth in horror with tears filling her eyes "Is he alright?, how badly was he hurt?"

"He's.........Oh Jesus Keiko he tried to kill himself!, he poisoned himself with fuckin' potassium!, he nearly fuckin' died!", Miles was crying by now crying with both shame and remorse for adding to Julian's pain 

"Oh Miles I'm so sorry" Keiko said "I wish I was there with you, I wish I could help"

"I wish yer were here too darlin'" Miles said sniffing hard 

"Then I'm getting on the first transport back"

"Wha.........Keiko yer job........"

"Damn my job, you and poor Julian are far more important!" Keiko stated firmly "I'll book a flight now and be with you as soon as I can"

A shaky smile curved Miles's lips and he pressed a palm to the view screen "I love you darlin'" he said feeling a long missing warmth in his belly at the thought of his wife coming home "I don't deserve you"

"I'll be the judge of what you deserve Miles" Keiko stated "And I love you too, and give my love to Julian"

"Aye, I will" Miles said wondering if he'd even be welcome in the infirmary to do so 

"Take care of yourself and I'll be with you soon".

 

As the view screen went dark Miles sat back in the chair by the console and rested his head in his hands with his elbows on the desk suddenly feeling more tired than ever before in his life.

 

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Infirmary

 

While Sisko had previously ordered Garak and Miles to keep away from Julian, after the Doctors suicide attempt Garak had made it quite clear that he would not leave the infirmary unless he was dragged out of there by Odo and since Julian needed rest to recover Sisko had decided to recind his order and allow the Cardassian to stay so long as he wasn't getting in the way or disturbing the Doctor.

It was rather hypnotic to watch the gentle rise and fall of Julian's chest that was bare save for the sticky pads that rested over his heart with wires running to a machine that was beeping with every beat of the organ which had suffered a great deal of strain. 

According to the Duty Doctor who had treated Julian, he would have weeks of recovery to face, he had suffered a major heart attack and it had taken a long time to get his heart beating again, he was going to have to take things easy to give his body a chance to repair the damage, and he still may suffer heart, kidney, and liver problems in later life due to the over dose. 

Just getting him to later life may be a feat in itself right now and Garak wasn't certain he was up to the task anymore. 

Give him a recalcitrant prisoner to torture and break and he knew what he was doing, give him a mystery to unravel and he was in his element, but place a hurting suicidal human before him and he had absalutely no idea what to do.

"Hasn't been any change then?"

Garak startled and turned to see his nemesis standing at the foot of Julian's bed, Miles O'Brien who looked as wrecked as Garak himself felt 

"The Doctor says he's in a serious but stable condition" Garak replied "Whatever that may mean"

Miles snorted and nodded "I never understand their medical babble either, hell half the time I don't understand what comes out o'Julian's mouth and the other half I try to ignore because he just goes on and on!"

Garak did not respond he merely continued to watch O'Brien cautiously, while he doubted the chief would try anything here he wasn't going to let his guard down until he was certain.

 

Sighing deeply Miles went round to the otherside of Julian's bed and drew up the chair there to sit down   
"Keiko's coming home" he said making raise a brow ridge rise on Garak, "She called and I told her what happened to Julian" he explained "She loves him like a little brother, wants to........be here for him"

"Indeed" Garak said "And does she know of your.........desires for the Doctor?"

Miles flushed and looked down at Julian, feeling sick at the sight of his weak and helpless state that he had contributed to 

"I judge by your silence that she does not" Garak said "And that you do not intend to tell her"

"Whast bloody good would it do to tell her that I've missed her so much that I've got a crush on my best friend?" Miles snapped "Especially since Julian...........don't feel the same about me"

This took the wind out of Garaks sails and were this situation less terrible Miles might have laughed about it, instead he just slumped in his hair and sighed depressively 

"Julian's mad about you Garak, anyone with eyes can see it, he lights up whenever he sees you, can wax bloody lyrical talking about you!", the Irishman shook his head "I don't know if what I feel for him is love or just misinturpreted feelings of friendship, but what I do know is that whether I like it or not he is in love with you"

As always Garak hated to feel as if someone had got one up on him and as always used sarcasam to cover it, "I suppose this is the part where you tell me that if I do anything to hurt him you'll kill me?" 

Miles glared at him from across the bed "I ain't given yer my blessin' Garak, if I could I'd make sure you never got within a light year of Julian again, but I can't make that happen and naive as he can be Julian is a grown man capable of making his own decisions, and if he chooses to.........be with you, then I will not get between the two of you", Miles looked like he was chewing glass as he spoke!, "But!" he held up a hand and glared "If he sheds so much as a single tear because o'you then I'll finish what I started on yer clear?"

For once in his life Garak opted to keep his mouth shut and simple nodded his head in agreement.

 

********************************************************************************

 

Outside the Infirmary door Sisko stood beside Dax watching the interaction and listening to the conversation.

"Well I can't say I saw that coming Old man" Sisko admitted making Jadzia smile 

"After all thats happened I think they both know that calling a truce is for the best" she said "And if nothing else they can agree on one thing"

"Oh?, and what would that be?"

"That they both love Julian and his well being takes president over their own feelings in this matter"

Sisko nodded and sighed looking at the pale sleeping Doctor "Now I suppose it's just a matter of what happens when he finally wakes up".


	14. Chapter 14

Muffled voices were buzzing near his ears like an anoying wasp that wouldn't go away.

Julian couldn't make out what was being said but he could hear a conversation about something, part of him was naturally curious and wanted to know who or what was being discussed and by whom, but another part just wanted the noise to go away so he could sink back into this warm fuzzy nothing that the noise had drawn him out of. 

It was nice to be shapeless and formless Julian decided, you could just sort of float about like a bubble on the surface of water, just bobbing along without anything to hurt you or upset you.

He really, really wanted to go back to that peaceful floating and just exist as a bubble for a little bit longer but he was becoming more and more aware of what was going on outside of the warm safe cocoon he had been wrapped into. 

The voices were now louder, still distorted like a recording being played too slow, and he could feel things touching him, light pressure on his wrist, a sharp pain at the back of his hand, a heavy weight on his chest....?, no wait........it wasn't a heavy weight it was more like a tighness about his chest and a lot of tenderness as he breathed as if he had broken ribs, his left pectoral felt sore and dear God his throat felt like he had been swallowing razor blades!.

While Julian catalogued this he slowly but surely became more and more conscious so that when Jabara flashed a pen light in his eyes he winced and complained trying to shift his head away.

"Go and get Dr Giotti" Jabara said to the nurse besides her and smiled down at Julian "Welcome back".

 

Welcome back?

Julian frowned sluggishly as he tried to make sense of what she was saying, his brain felt like it had been soaked in whiskey and tossed in a sack it was so slow to process information!.

Sluggishly he tried to figure out where he was and what was going on.

The last thing he could remember was............., A vial of potassium, the last thing Julian could recall was looking at a vial of potassium in the dispensary, then there was nothing but a blank space to waking up here and now.

What the hell had happened?, how did he go from looking at a vial of potassium to laying in a bio-bed feeling like he'd had spent the night on a bender?.

"Dr Bashir?"

The voice calling his name made Julian open his eyes again and he found Dr Giotti looking down at him 

"How are you feeling?" Giotti asked glancing at the moniters

"Confused" Julian whispered his voice horse, Jabara guided cup of water to him with a long straw for him to drink from which he gratefully did 

"Thats not surprising after what you went through yesterday" Giotti said taking a seat on the chair besides the bed "What do you remember?"

Julian frowned, the vial of potassium was the last thing he could clearly recall, there were some jumbled images, a hypospray, a pain in his chest, not being able to breath........"I........I'm not really sure" Julian whispered trying to think back, why had he been holding potassium in his hand?, what would he have wanted potassium for?.

"Well you jus' wan' 'im all t'yersell!", "Yer wanna lock 'im away from the universe, keep 'im hidden like a toy yer can play with whenever yer want!"

"And what exactly do you want?", "To have him as your "Mistress?", a bit on the side?, something to use when you get an itch you can't scratch and your wife isn't around to appease it!"

The scathing voices of Miles and Garak echoed inside Julian's head making him wince as he recalled their fight, the revelations of their..........feelings towards him,

"You listen to me Julian Bashir non of this is your fault, you have done nothing to deserve this, nothing at all"

Rememberance of Sisko holding him, comforting him made Julian cringe with shame, he could remember fleeing the Commander's quarters in the middle of the night after awakening with a nightmare, could remember going back to his own quarters where he'd tried to settle, tried to find some peace but.............but all he'd done was..........was come to the conclusion that..............that he'd.........be better off....dead.

 

The shocked realization stole Julian's breath from him, the horrible recollection of having attempted suicide left him feeling like he had just been punched in the gut. 

Reading the expression on Julian's face Giotti squeezed his hand "It's alright, we found you in time and were able to help you though it was a very close call"  
Tears were pricking at Julian's eyes and he struggled to speak past the lump in his throat "I didn't want to be saved!".

Whether or not he meant at the time of his attempted suicide or right now Giotti didn't know and this was not his area of training, sighing he lowered and shook his head

"We nearly lost you Julian" he said using the Doctor's first name, "It took several cycles of resuscitation and a direct shot of adrenaline to your heart to get you back" he looked up and met Julian's eyes "I know I can't begin to understand what you've been through, can't truly empathize with what you're feeling now, but what I can tell you is that Jabara and Bandee were in tears as they worked to save your life, Dussa and Zolim were practically falling over themselves and I......." Giotti paused and drew a breath to calm himself, "I was ready to cut open your chest and take your heart into my hands to massage it so it would beat again!, I was prepared to keep on trying to get you to live!, whatever it took! do you understand that?"

Giotti shook his head again and wet his lips "The Commander was here you know?, ashen faced, sick at the thought of loosing you. Garak was here too, looking devestated, and Chief O'Brien was crying and praying!"

"I'm sorry!" Julian whispered taking Giotti's hand "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you all!"

"You did mean to hurt yourself though" Giotti said 

"I wanted to die" Julian said "I wanted the pain to stop not to cause more"

"And you didn't think that your dying would cause others pain?" 

Julian didn't answer right away, he had to get control of his tears first and calm his breathing before he could get the words out and when he did it was with a weak laugh, "Are you sure you only specialized in General Surgery and not Psychotherepy?"

Giotti snorted "I don't think I'd be much good at it"

"Doing alright so far" 

"Says my one and only patient!".

 

Clearing his throat Julian wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and drew in a deep breath "I have to speak to Dr Telnori I assume?"

"And are to be kept under observation for another fifty two hours" Giotti confirmed "You won't be restrained unless you give us cause to restrain you, so please don't!"

Julian nodded, he doubted that he would be remotely capable of giving them a reason to use restraints right now, he felt weak as a newborn lamb!, it was taking all his energy just to keep talking and every breath hurt and he wasn't exactly having to take deep ones!.

"You have suffered some heart damage" Giotto stated "There is scarring over the muscle and damage to the pericardial sack, your Kidneys and Liver have also been strained though with luck they will heal themselves given time. But I would suspect that you will suffer heart trouble in years to come"

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" Julian murmured rubbing his chest cautiously 

"I'll be keeping you on IV fluids and a cathetar for another day and then remove both", Giotti grinned at Julian's unhappy look, removal of a cathetar was not exactly painless especially for a man, "I will also inform Commander Sisko that you are awake and order you some breakfast which I expect you to eat without any arguments"

Julian glared, "You're enjoying this superiority thing a bit too much!" 

Giotti bared his teeth in a grin "Well you know what they say about absalute power!".

 

*******************************************************************************

 

Ops

 

Kira actually flinched when her consol registered a call from the Infirmary. 

Since Julian's suicide attempt the whole crew, in fact the whole station had been holding it's collective breath waiting for news. 

Even Quark was less obnoxious than normal, he wasn't complaining about the subdued nature of his customers or making crass comments, he too was worried about Bashir and waiting to know if everything was going to be alright.

 

Kira could remember many times in her life when she had felt desperate, had not been able to see a hope for the future but she had never felt so broken that suicide was the best possible soltion to her situation. Just how wretched must the Doctor have been feeling to have done that?, how utterly defeated and hopeless did you have to feel to want to end your own life?.

Kira prayed to the Prophets that she would never know.

Wetting her lips she looked up from the consol and called out to Sisko, "The infirmary's calling" 

Sisko jerked up and looked to a pale and tired looking Dax who clearly hadn't slept and nodded his head   
"I'll take it in my office" he said taking the steps two at a time and going into the smaller room

"Transferfing comunications" Kira said half tempted to listen in but did not give into the urge, "Think it's good news?" she asked Dax who gave a half hearted shrug

"Hopefully" she replied looking back to the office and tapping her fingers on the top of her consol as she waited for Sisko to leave his office. The seconds semed to drag into hours and the minutes into days before the commander finally came back out of the office.

"Well?" Dax immediately demanded not beating around the bush at all 

Sisko paused, he really should consider Julian's privacy but one look at all the eager faces that were desperate for news had him relenting on that particular protocol and answering Dax instead   
"Julian's awake and does not appear to have suffered any brain damage"

"Oh Thank God!", Dax's exclamation was felt by all as everyone let out sighs of relief and prayers of thanks to various deities 

"Are you on your way to see him now?" Kira asked, at Sisko's nod she gave him a tight smile "Let the Doctor know we're all thinking of him"

Sisko smiled back, it wasn't often that Kira let her guard down and showed her gentility and for her to do so in front of others for Julian showed just how much she cared despite whatever hard face she may put on over it, "I'll be happy to Major" he replied "You have the Con"

"Aye Sir" Kira acknowledged and turned back to her work schooling herself back into the image of the perfect unfeeling professional as if she hadn't just been thanking the Prophets for their mercy to Julian moments before.

********************************************************************************

By the time Sisko reached the infirmary Dr Telnorri was at Julian's bedside and looked up with a smile beckoning for him to join them and actively encourage Julian to eat the porridge he was stirring round the bowl and glaring at as if it were a dish of writhing maggots rather than oats!.

"Councillor" Sisko greeted "Dr Bashir"

"Commander" Julian whispered setting down the spoon and looked at the bedsheet 

Sisko glanced to Telnorri who mouthed the word "Gently" at him. Clearing his throat Sisko sat down besides the bed and offered what he hoped was his most reassuring smile to the very fragile Doctor

"How are you feeling?" he asked in calm voice not at all accusing or confrontational 

Julian swallowed hard "Okay I guess" he said with a shrug "Stupid, but okay"

"Well what you did was not exactly the brightest thing in the universe" Sisko said catching the warning look Telnorri shot him "But I wouldn't call you stupid, hurt and confused and in need of.....support"

Julian nodded and looked to Telnorri who smiled and squeezed his hand before addressing Sisko

"Julian has willingly opted to take a leave of absence from the post of CMO for a period of six weeks to undergo CBT and Trauma Therapy which we will begin as soon as he is released from the infirmary" 

"I see", Sisko looked to Julian who was once again studying the bedding, he had worried about having to force the Doctor's hand on this but apparently he wouldn't have to, "Doctor.........Julian, I want you to know that as soon as you are able I want you to take up your post again, theres no one I'd rather have as our CMO" 

Julian looked up genuine surprise on his face that made Sisko's heart ache to see, God didn't the Doctor know how much he was wanted here?, how many people liked if not out right loved him?, clearly he did not. Making a mental note Sisko decided to talk to Jadzia about finding away to change that as soon as possible.

"Julian would also like to see both Chief O'Brien and Mr Garak privately" Telnorri said "There are matters which need to be discussed"

Sisko looked from the councillor to Julian a frown on his face "Are you sure?" he asked not to keen on the idea himself but Julian had an all too familiar look of determination on his face 

"I am Sir" he said "I need to speak with them, to clear the air and...........then see where to go from here".


	15. Chapter 15

Miles wasn't really sure what to think when Sisko ordered him to the infirmary.

While the Commander had recinded the restraining order he certainly wasn't keen on having Miles around Julian right now, so why he had been ordered to go and see the Doctor the Chief really didn't know.

Unless he'd taken a turn for the worse...........

This fear had Miles making double time to get to the infirmary where he found Julian sitting up in a bio-bed looking far too pale but very much alive. He even managed a weak smile when he saw Miles and beckoned him over.

 

With their last talk in mind Miles aproached the Doctor cautiously worried about upsetting him again considering the consequences that had already incurred.

"It's okay Miles I'm not going to bite" Julian said with as welcoming a smile as he was capable of and pushed himself up more against the pillows grimancing as the movement put pressure on his aching ribs.

"How are you?" Miles asked frowning at the grimance

"Okay" Julian replied "My ribs are a bit tender but otherwise..........I got lucky"

Miles nodded "You.....you're happy you didn't..." he broke off unable to say the word 

"Die?" Julian finished for him "Technically I did die, I dead for quite some time it was only medical intervention that kept my blood circulating and started my heart back up again", at Miles's sharp intake of breath he lay a hand over the older mans "I know how stupid and selfish what I did was, how many people I hurt and I am sorry for it"

"I'm sorry too" Miles said clasping Julian's hand "For making you feel so desperate, for hurting you when that was the last thing I ever wanted to do"

"Miles..."

"It's true Julian, I played a big part in you trying to.......end it all and I am both ashamed and sorry for that, but I want you to know that I was....in my own pig headed way trying to protect you"

"From Garak" Julian murmured "

"Yeah, and I know I'm not exactly any Cardies biggest fan, but Garak's not a good man, he's done unspeakable things in his past Julian, is capable of a great deal of wickedness, you have to know that!"

Julian looked down at the bedding "He's more than that Miles, can be more than that", he looked back up meeting Miles's eyes "Look how hard he fought for Rugal and his Father?, and after what Dukat did to me, he was so gentle and understand, no one who has only evil in their hearts could do such things

"He could if he were looking to get something out of it" Miles countered "Look at the reason he worked to help Rugal's Father, he did it to screw Dukat!, and why did Dukat attack you?, to hurt Garak!"

"That isn't Garak's fault!"

"Isn't it?, you don't know what he's done Julian, what he is capable of, none of us do!, and while I applaude your trusting nature and ability to see the good in everyone I....I don't want to see you hurt again"

Julian smiled at the rare show of emotion that wasn't an Irish temper in Miles "I am a big boy you know Miles, I am capable of making my own choices and taking care of myself"

"Yeah really looks like it!", Miles regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth especially when he saw the wounded look on Julian's face, "I'm sorry" he appologised "I.........Christ I'm shite at this feelings stuff!" he groaned running a hand over his face, "I know I shouldn't be thinking about you like I have been, I know you don't feel the same"

"Miles"

"No really" Miles pressed on "I care about you a lot, maybe too much, maybe......no not maybe, I know I've let things get too intense, let friendship become twisted into something more to make up for my marriage, and I know that even if something did ever happen between us, which I know it won't!, even if it did it wouldn't work out, while we do share some interests we.....would drive each other insane in a week, if not out right homocidal!"

Julian broke into a brief laugh at this having to agree with Miles' logic, while they might like holosuites on ancient battles, playing darts, racket ball, and sharing a drink or two at Quarks they did not have much more in common, Miles had no great love of literature like Julian did especially not literature by other species including Cardassian!, he wasn't adoring of mysteries and Spy Novels, especially James Bond.

If they ever got into a relationship they would drive each other nuts, and there was one thing that Miles didn't have which attracted Julian more than anything to potential over, Mystery. 

Miles O'Brien was pretty much an open book, a what you see is what you get kind of man without any real secrets or hidden past. Garak by contrast was an enigma and while that could be infuriating at times it was also what kept him coming back for more and had him thinking so much about what it would be like to be with Garak.

As much as Julian didn't like to think it, he had to admit at least to himself that he didn't find Miles's company mentally stimulating, not in the way he did Garaks, he learned so much from the Cardassian on so many topics that he found his mind racing and his thirst for more knowledge growing ever larger. 

So really as much as he loved Miles as a friend, maybe a pseudo big brother he would never think of him as anything more than that.

"But" Miles said going on "With all that said and done I do love you and I can't and won't stand by and see you put yourself in danger"

Julian dipped his head "You think Garak is a danger"

"I know he is" Miles growled 

"Miles please don't do this!" Julian pleaded "I don't want to loose you as a friend, if Garak and I get together, which I'm not sure will happen, I don't even know if he feels that way about me for sure........"

"He does" Miles stated "He's makin' moon eyes at you as much you are at him!", the Chief sighed and raking his hands through his curly hair nodded his head "I won't make you choose between us, I may not like him or ever trust him and if he ever hurts you I'll skin him alive!, but I won't come between the two of you"

Julian smiled with genuine gratitude and took Miles's hands squeezing them "Thank you, that means a lot to me"

"Yeah, well I mean it about him hurting you!, if he thinks that kicking was bad then he'll have another think coming by the time I'm through with him!"

Julian laughed looking happier and more relaxed that he had in days "I'll be sure to mention it to him!".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be Garak's turn in the next chapter


	16. Chapter 16

Garak was no more comfortable than Miles had been when it came to his turn to enter the infirmary and see Julian.

He'd spent his time since he had left the infirmary after his conversation/exchange of death threats with O'Brien, taking his temper out on yards of faulty material that needed unpicking to be restitched.

Some how shredding material was not as pleasing or stress relieving as beating punch bags or someones head!, but it was better than nothing and Garak was in desperate need of some way to get his frustration out before he tore his whole shop and quarters apart!.

It wasn't just Julian's suicide attempt that had him upset though that was the main reason. His contacts on Cardassia were proving to be far too slow in aranging him a chance to get even with Dukat.

Garak had no intentions of doing to someone who Dukat cared for what he had done to Julian, he was going to take everything out on Dukat himself, every form of torture he knew he would use to break Dukat apart and then leave him as a sniviling wreck, a shell of the pompous sadistic Gul he was, an embaressment to the Cardassian empire they would swiftly and discreetly dispose of to avoid the shame of having one of the men left in such a state.

Plotting Dukat's torture, maiming, and eventual destruction had at least kept Garak's mind occupied and stopped him from obsessing over Julian and the horrible chance that he might be brain damaged from his attempted suicide, but it also made him all the more eager to start exacting his revenge on Dukat.

By the time Odo came to relay the message that he was wanted at the infirmary to see Julian Garak was growling under his breath and grinding his teeth so hard that his jaw was hurting!.

"I suggest you calm yourself down before going to see the Doctor" Odo drawled in his usual monotone while looking Garak over and easily reading his mood "I doubt you'll want to upset him again"

As he often felt when dealing with Odo Garak wondered if he were loosing his edge at concealing his true feelings, the shape shifter was truly very adapt at judging humanoid behavior and facial expressions, it was a gift that Garak envied some what, while he had learned over the years to read people pretty well he was in no way an expert, in fact Odo' abilities put his own to shame.

"Just how is Dr Bashir?" Garak asked attempting to keep his voice sounding interested but not desperately worried 

"Well enough I believe after a suicide attempt" Odo replied emotionlessly   
'Note to self do not look to a changling when one wants to find out about someone one cares for' Garak thought to himself swiftly closing his store and heading for the infirmary.

 

*****************************************************************************

Julian was picking at a plate of spaghetti bolognaise with complete disinterest when Garak arrived and happily shoved it aside completely ignoring the stink eye that Jabara shot him for doing so.

"Have a seat" he said gesturing to the chair but Garak remained standing and looked at Julian expectantly making the Doctor groan and shift to sit up straighter   
"Always the hard way with you isn't it?" he sighed 

"As oposed to an easy way out?" Garak challenged raising an eyebrow ridge 

Julian acknowledged the pointed statment with a wince "I guess I deserved that" he whispered shifting uncomfortably "And I'm sorry"

"Sorry?" Garak repeated "Sorry that you were throwing your life away?, sorry that you hurting every person that cares about you?, sorry that you were letting Dukat win?"

"All of it!" Julian gritted out "Everything alright?, and for the record I didn't do this to hurt you or anyone I just............I just wanted it all to stop"

"All what?" 

"Everything!" Julian cried as tears began to run down his cheeks "I just couldn't take it anymore, Dukat, you and Miles, feeling helpless and pathetic!"

Inevitably his heart rate became ellevated with his distress and Dr Giotti came hurrying into the room to check that everything was alright

"What the hell is going on?" he demanded upon finding Julian in tears and Garak standing besides the bed 

"Nothing" Julian whispered wiping his cheeks with his hands "I'm fine"

"You are far from that" Giotti said pushing past Garak and forcing Julian to lay back down "Now take slow steady even breaths"

"Perhaps I should go" Garak said 

"Yes I think you should" Giotti said 

"No!" Julian cried sniffing hard "No we still need to talk" 

"Julian!"

"Doctor!"

"Enough!" Julian yelled effectively silencing both the Doctor and Cardassian in one "Okay I know I've messed up I know I'm not exactly at my best right now but I am still capable of deciding what I want and I want to talk to Garak here and now and preferably in private!".

 

Julian panted a little after his rant and blushed at his outburst, Garak however looked rather impressed while Giotti sighed deeply and eyed the heart moniter 

"I'll be close by" he said and turned giving Garak a glare "Don't upset him anymore"

"I wouldn't dream of it!" Garak said with his most disarming smile that only served to earn him another glower as Giotti went past him

"Well my Dear!" the Cardassian said spreading his hands and beaming "It's nice to see you haven't lost your fiery spirit after all!", at Julian's less than impressed look he relented and finally sat down in the chair besides the Doctors bed

"I apologise my Dear" he said sincerely "I am rather.....unused to dealing with these matters"

"What matters would that be?" Julian asked deciding to take a leaf out of Garak's book and be difficult for once

"I'm sorry?" 

"What matters are you unused to dealing with?" Julian clarified wiping his cheeks once more and taking a deep breath that made his chest ache   
"Suicide attempts?, post trauma distress?, or matters of the heart?".

 

For once Garak didn't have a pithy come back to throw out and he found himself shifting uncomfortably in his seat and would, had he been human, no doubt have been blushing 

"Maybe it's all three you're not really use to" Julian said "Especially matters of the heart. You do not seem to be the type of man who had enjoyed an extensive romantic past"

Garak bristled at this "For all you know Doctor I may have had many of lovers in the past"

"Lovers yes you probably have" Julian agreed "But I said romance not sex and I think know as well as I do that the two do not always go hand in hand, sex can very often be just that, a perfunctory act for procreation, a brief liason between people for pleasure and/or stress relief, it does not always equal love, that is something else entirely and I don't think you have much experiance with that".

 

Garak had to admit that Julian was very astute, clearly the Doctor had read him just as he had been reading the Doctor over the past couple of years, it was both mentally stimulating and rather arousing, the latter of which had Garak crossing his legs and urging his cock to stay buried in it's sheath!.

"Have you had much experiance in love?" he countered back settling in now enjoy some verbal sparring

"I was in love once" Julian said "Palis Delon, we were very nearly married but..........her life and ambitions were on Earth where mine were out into space so it didn't work out"

"And you couldn't have done what you humans call comprimise?"

Julian shook his head "In the end we'd have just made each other misrable and that wasn't what either of us wanted" he sighed a small and bitter sweet smile for lost love "We parted as friends at least" he said "No screaming arguments or fighting as we both knew it was for the best"

"You do not regret leaving her?" 

"No, it was the right thing, I wouldn't have been happy on Earth, and I think deep down I wasn't ready for marriage, not then anyway, we'd most likely have ended up divorcing and hating each other so it's best it ended as it did".

 

Julian shifting and curled his legs up to his chest "What about you?"

"Me Doctor?" Garak asked raising a brow ridge 

"Anyone in your past whom you've loved?"

Here Garak could have very easily lied, could have claimed to have loved dozens of Cardassians and maybe a few Bajorans!, but for once he did not concoct a lie as was his normal practise instead he smiled and shrugged   
"My duty was my life before coming here, such things do not leave much time for romance"

"Do you regret that?" 

Garak paused considering Julian's question thoughtfully before shaking his head "No, I think it makes the discovery of romance for the first time now all the more special", he smile dimmed "If ill advised"

"Ill advised?" Julian asked now confused "Why would......?" he paused as he remembered they hadn't yet told each other what they felt and he had no way to be certain that Garak was refering to himself and not someone else, "What would be ill advised about you persuing this individual?" he asked 

"Doctor I think we both know to whom I am refering" Garak all but purred making Julian feel hot all over 

"Maybe" he said looking at the bed and not the Cardassian "But to avoid any misunderstanding I think you should say it out loud", he risked a glance up at Garak from the corner of his eye just in time to see the Cardassian rise from his chair and reach out to cup his cheek and lock their lips in lingering kiss!.

 

******************************************************************************

 

A number of thoughts ran through Julian's head, the first and foremost being OhmyfuckingGodandYes!, the others were contemplating why this didn't make him panic and answering the question with the obvious answer which was that Dukat had never kissed him, never stroked his cheek with a firm but surprisingly smooth palm, had never ran his tongue over Julian's lips to gain his taste and certainly never chuckled to see the dazed look in the Doctors eyes when the kiss ended!.

 

Sitting back on the bed besides Julian Garak admired his handy work at kissing Julian senseless!, the bewildered and start of arousal was a good look on the Doctor and Garak wished to see it more often.

As his brain slowly came back to a functional level Julian let out a breath that actually sounded like "Whoa!" and blushed at the teenage reaction!, this was not the first time he'd been kissed for heaven sakes!

"Does that answer your question Doctor?" Garak asked sounding smug

"I....yes I think so" Julian said "However considering what just happened I think it might be best if you start calling me Julian"

"Hm Schoolean" Garak hissed heavily accenting and elongating the Doctors name and sending a shiver down Julian's spine "Such a pleasing name to the tongue!"

The inuendo there was not lost on Julian and grinned back even daring to run his tongue over his lips suggestively 

"Now Schoolean do not tease me too much I have only a limited amount of restraint and this is hardly the time or the place for such things, and there is still much to consider before we.........decide to act on this further"

"Like what?" Julian asked 

"You situation my Dear" 

"My.......oh, well yeah I don't think I'm gonna want to get overly physical for a while but............I hope that in time......I sure as am not letting Dukat ruin my sex life for me!" 

Garak chuckled and patted the back of Julian's hand "Not quite what I meant but also something to be spoken of" he agreed "What I meant was your career in Star Fleet"

Now Julian was confused, what in the hell did Star Fleet have to do with his sex life?

"I can't imagine your superiors will be too pleased if you engage in a relationship with me, a Cardassian who is living in exile for an unspecified reason"

"Tax evasion wasn't it!?" Julian asked with a grin and shook his head "If Star fleet don't like it then they can shove it!, I don't have to be in Star Fleet to be a Doctor I can do that anywhere, so if they make me choose then I will choose you over them"

"My dear your career........."

"Is important but I am a Doctor first and foremost and that career will not effected by my decision should it come to that" Julian stated firmly "I want to be with you Garak I know I'm not ready for.....anything more than kissing but I do want to be with you and if you don't mind waiting.........."

Again Julian found himself silenced in a kiss though this one was briefer than before though no less enjoyable 

Smiling Garak traced Julian's sculpted face with his finger tips "My dear I would wait a life time to be with you".


	17. Chapter 17

"You know I am perfectly capable of feeding myself!" Julian commented to Sisko as a plate loaded with Jambalya was placed before him 

He'd been released from the infirmary after two days and was pretty much being mothered by the whole of the station, Kira and Dax had brought him a breakfast of scotch pancakes and honey with his favorite tea and had sat with him while he ate, making sure that every mouthful was eaten before they left him in peace.

They had also invited him to join them on their next "Girly" session in the holosuites to which Julian had laughed and asked if he should wax his legs and wear a skirt!, Dax had snorted and said that he should only do so if he felt like giving the entire station heart attacks at the sight of his shapely legs!.

What they had planned for him in the holosuite on that day Julian didn't know and was equal parts curious and nervous!.

 

After breakfast he'd been officially discharged and had gone to his quarters where he'd had all of ten minutes to himself before he'd had a succession of visitors starting with Odo who had tried to cover the fact he was simply checking up on Julian by asking some rather pointless questions on how best to arrest a human who was resisting arrest without causing them bodily harm, and whether or not a lengthy stay in the holding cells could have an adverse effect upon the human's mind!.

 

After Odo came Quark of all people, he wanted to know if there was a way he could use psychology as a way to generate more costome and if so then how to go about it!.

This of course lead to the benefits of using Psychology on his staff to make them more productive and by the time Julian was finally left alone long enough to start reading a medical journal it was almost time for lunch!.

When lunch did roll around an hour later Julian was whisked away by Keiko to the O'Brien's quarters for homemade sushi which Miles's vetoed in favor of a ham and cheese baguette, he may have learned to enjoy some East Asian cuisine since marrying Keiko but Sushi was not one of them!.

Julian however didn't mind the dish and enjoyed spending time with Keiko and Miles who looked far more relaxed about each other than they had in some time which lead him to believe that they had spent the last two days working through some of their issues. Also by the lack of tension in Miles's jaw, and the easing of the stress lines on his forehead Julian would put latium on the fact that they two of them had had sex for the first time in quite a while.

 

His afternoon was spent with Keiko and Molly, though mostly Molly playing Doctors and Nurses on her cuddly toys and dolls where she learned how to set a broken leg and put a bandage on a limb, and even how to listen for a heartbeat with a toy stethoscope!.

In good humour Julian had allowed Molly to wrap him in bandages to the point that he looked like an Egyptian Mummy and had needed to be cut free by Keiko!.

After his whole day had been taken up by everyone keeping an eye on him it did not come at all as a surprise when Sisko invited him for dinner in his quarters!.

 

"This is coming from the CMO who has fainted twice from low blood sugar after he had forgotten that he needed to eat at least once in seventy eight hours!" Sisko said with a smirk 

"In my defense both those times were during emergencies" Julian said with a wry smile "The first was when half the station had gone down with food poisoning and if you've spent three days dealing with peoples digestive systems practically exploding then you'd loose your appetite!" 

Sisko's nose wrinkled as he recalled Jakes bout of Gastro-enteritis when he was five, that had not been a pleasent experiance at all!, "You may have a point there" he agreed blowing on a prawn before popping it in his mouth and eating hungrilly

"And the second time I was dealing with an outbreak of Bajoran SARS which is extreamly contagious and virulant" 

"Indeed" Sisko agreed, that outbreak had happened on the planet ten months ago and had devestated several of the refugee camps before Julian had managed to produce an antigen to cure and innoculate the Bajorans. 

The Bajorans had once had their own treatment for SARS but like so much it had been lost in the occupation and when the deadly illness had hit they had struggled to find anything to fight it. Julian had needed to look up ancient earth to recreate the treatment from their own trouble with SARS and reproduce the antigen and then manipulate it enough so that it worked on Bajorans as well as Humans.

He'd worked himself to exhaustion and had unsurprisingly collapsed under the strain as he'd pushed himself so hard to find the cure. Doing so however had endeared him to the Bajorans (A whole lot more than Kai Winn would have liked) insufferable bitch that she was!.

"So?" Julian asked swallowing a mouthful of rice "How long should I expect this Mothering to last?"

"Mother?" Sisko asked raising an eyebrow

"Fathering then!, though with Jadzia I'm thinking it's both Mother and Fathering!"

"Well she has been both a Mother and a Father" Sisko agreed "As to how long this will continue...........it's probably going to be a while before any of us........."

"Trusts me?" Julian asked

"No not trusts you, feels comfortable letting you out of our sight" Sisko said setting down his fork and folding his hands under his chin "It's not that we don't trust you it's that we're worried about you and we don't want you to get hurt again"

Julian rolled his lips and nodded "I appreciate that, I do, but I am a big boy and I can take care of myself, and I really think that Odo had better things to do than spend two hours asking me pointless questions about how much pressure he can safely apply to a human arm!"

Sisko snickered with laughter at that, Odo may be a great police officer but he certainly wasn't good at subtlety!.

"I hear you are going on a trip in the holosuite with Dax and Kira" 

"Hm I don't know whether to be excited by that or frightened!" Julian said "I am hoping whatever they have planned doesn't involve nail painting or hair braiding!"

"Some how I can't picture Kira doing either to be honest" Sisko said "Whatever they do have planned for you I'm sure it's going to be fun"

"Care to join us?" Julian asked with a grin and laughed at the look of alarm on Sisko's face 

"I think I will pass on that if you don't mind!".

 

******************************************************************************

 

It was getting on for late evening when Julian returned to his quarters having thoroughly enjoyed his evening with the Commander and was contemplating what to do before bed only to find Garak standing outside his quarters with a box that looked suspiciously like a pastry box from the sinfully good confectionary shop on the promenade. 

The shop was run by a Frenchman who's pastries were beyond devine and the bane of anyones existance if they were trying to watch their weight!.

"Hope you haven't been waiting too long" Julian said with a grin as he approached the Cardassian who greeted him with a smile

"No Doctor fortunately I had only just arrived, and like your ancient anciestors I come bearing gifts!"

"Ohh I hope it's not a wooden horse because that didn't go to well for the Trojans!" Julian said keying in the code to his door and gesturing for Garak to go inside and followed after him shutting the door with his foot 

"It's not a wooden horse" Garak assured him recognizing the reference from their discussions of Ancient Greece, "Though you are fair enough to put Helen to shame"

Julian flushed a little at the compliment once again and gave a small shy smile "So if it's not a wooden horse.....?"

"Why not open it and see?", Garak handed over the box for Julian to open which he did revealing a two Opera Cakes that smelled devine 

"Oh my God these things sell in second of Jacques putting them on sale how did you get them?" Julian asked going to the table and getting some plates 

"I may have bribed him!" Garak said enigmatically as he took a seat and smiled congenially as he was served the decadent pastry by Julian who then took his own seat and slide a dessert fork into the cake and gave an almost indecent moan of bliss as he popped the slice into his mouth 

"I think I just went to heaven!" he murmured happily "Thank you for this, it's the best part of my day so far" 

"Really?, I would have thought considering the amount of visitors you've had that this would be the least exciting part of your day"

Julian rose an eyebrow at Garak "Are you keeping tabs on me?"

"Tabs Doctor?"

"Spying on me, and I thought you were going to call me Julian" 

"So I was, old habit I am afraid, and as for spying on you?, well I would merely say keeping an eye"  
"You and everyone else" Julian side cutting another piece of cake "All day it's been one person after another baby sitting me, trying to pretend that they're not scared I'm going to go and slit my wrists or jump out of an airlock!"  
Julian tried for a smile but it didn't quite happen and Garak did not amused  
"It's not that I don't understand why they're worried about me, nore that I don't appreciate the concern it's just......."

"You need your independance if you are to recover" Garak said 

"Exactly, I mean I get why they want to......protect me and all but in the end I have to do this for myself. It's like what a psychology professor said in a lecture while I was at collage, he said that life was very much like climbing a mountain, you can guide someone, you can encourage them, you can aid them and give them direction but in the end they have to climb that mountain themselves, thats not something anyone else can do for them"

"Very astute" Garak agreed "I do hope that I am not adding to the....babying?"

"No, no you're not" Julian assured him reaching over the table and taking his hand "You are.....the one person I feel I can do anything with, I can say anything and you understand, even when I don't understand"

Garak smiled and linked his cool fingers with Julian's "I think we have no both seen each other at our worst"

"And from there the only way is up" 

The two stared at each other across the table their hands linked and eyes dancing with desire and more than a little nervousness, it weas very natural that they moved from this to standing and kissing, slowly and lightly at first with delicate caresses of the lips which gradually became deeper and more passionate.

Theirs began to move from each's others arms to explore the rest of each others bodies with curious and eager touches.

Strong broad shoulders and hard scaled ridges met Julian's hands along with cool flesh that was far tougher and rougher than a humans skin, more like a tanned leather, it was cooler too than a humans skin, Cardassians were a cold bloodied race after all, descended from reptiles not mammals and it seemed they had no hair aside from the straight black locks on their heads, or at least Julian couldn't feel any on Garak's back or chest.

Garak was finding surprises of his own on Julian's body, soft skin that seemed so wonderfully vulnerable and belied the strength that Julian was capable of, though the lean muscles beneath the tanned skin were readily available for Garak to feel. 

His questing fingers also found some scatterings of hair that was not on Julian's head, thin and sparse but present upon his breast bone and his lower belly heading down to his groin where Garak paused as he felt Julian's body stiffen and heard him draw in breath sharply.

Too far too fast his reptilian mind supplied urging him to slow down lest he frighten the Doctor and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Regretfully he broke the kiss and backed away half a pace to give Julian some breathing room   
"We do not need to progress any further" he assured the Doctor who looked satisfyingly flushed!

Julian nodded his head and wet his lips "I........don't want to go further but.......I don't want to stop either" he said "But I.........if you......."

Garak was swiftly learning the best way to shut Julian up was with kissing him and deployed the tactic to his advantage silencing Julian easily enough   
"I think I can keep control of myself Shooleean" he breathed with a hiss that sent shivers down Julian's spine 

"Stay with me tonight?" he asked in a whisper "Just to sleep?"

Placing another kiss on Julian's swollen lips Garak leaned forward to whisper in his ear "I would be honored".


	18. Chapter 18

A painfully bright light shone right into Dukats eyes making him blind for several moments, and since Cardassian hearing was not overly good he missed the footsteps that approached him so he had no warning under he was being stared at by a stoic faced fellow Cardassian.

"Garak" he spat in disgust as his vision adjusted enough for him to see clearly enough to recognize who his capturor was   
"Decided to exact retribution for your human whore have you?" the Gul mocked 

Garak smiled, the act looking rather like a snake baring it's fangs at a rabbit  
"Indeed I have" he said "And by the time I am done you will be so very past begging for forgiveness!"

Dukat shoved his face forward extending his neck "Brave words Tailor!" he hissed "Plan to stick me with pins and needles?"

Now Garak's smirk became truly terrible to behold and even Dukat couldn't help but gulp though he made every effort to hide it from Garak 

"Oh Dukat you are so very naive when comes to torture aren't you?" he said sounding like he was addressing a school boy not a Gul of many campaigns   
"Torture is an art, and only the most skilled can truly wield it with any real effect", he ran a claw like nail over Dukat's cheek making the Gul flinch at his touch   
"In the hands of such individuals even the most innocent and seemingly ineffectual object can produce the most agonising pain and torment upon a victim, and Dukat?, I am expertly skilled at such things".

 

Garak walked away from Dukat who was suspended from a hook in the ceiling with his arms over his head bound at the wrists with shackled that dug into his skin, he was pulled up on tip toe and his ankles were bound in similar shackles that were chained to the floor holding him in place completely.

At the wall directly in front of Dukat Garak paused and tapped upon a touchpad which brightened the lights above Dukat all the more making him curse and wince at the painful brilliance of the light.

"You know what I find worst about Terok Nor now?" Garak asked "Aside from the poor quality food and insufferable engineers that is!"

"Do tell me!" Dukat sneered 

Garak smiled "The cold".

 

Dukat hardly had a chance to curse before frigid water rained down upon him followed by ice cold air that made his bones ache and his scales clench in pain  
"Damn you Garak!" he roared shivering uncontrollably as more water and cold air assulted him 

"To late" Garak replied "However I have found salvation in my damnation, a bright shining light that you tried to wrench from me, that you dared lay your filthy hands upon and brutalized in an attempt to hurt me"

"And you should have heard him scream and beg!" Dukat spat spraying water from his chapped lips "He sobbed like a child and split open like over ripe fruit when I sank inside his flesh, spilled so much blood on my floor that I still can't get the stains out!", he let out a scream as shards of ice now rained upon him cutting into his scales and making his body ache all the more 

"Oh you can do whatever you want to me Garak!" he snarled panting now and shaking violently "You can kill me if you wish but it will change nothing!, your human slut will still be ruined I will still have destroyed him and there is nothing you can do about it!"

Garak stopped the ice and left only the ice cold air gusting over Dukat who glowered at him.

"You are wrong Dukat" he said "You may have raped Julian, you may have hurt him deeply, but you did not ruin him, already he recovers from your assult, already he is moving past it, because he, like the rest of his Mamalian kin have something you never considered"

"And whats that?"

"Resilience", Garak stated "They have resilience born from what they hold most dear. And that Dukat is Hope".

*******************************************************************************

Since Dukat's assult on him Julian had become rather use to wearing a scowl on his face and moving around with his shoulders hunched over and posture all inverted to protect himself and his feelings. However since he and Garak had started to.............develope their relationship?, yes develope that sounded right, they weren't sleeping togther yet, or rather they were but sleeping was all they were doing.  
While Julian was starting to think he was seeing a light at the end of this tunnel of misery he wasn't ready to do more than simple cuddle and kiss. 

To be taking a relationship this slow was new territory for Julian. In the past he had always rushed head long in without worrying about consequences of what he was getting into. 

Perhaps thats why non of his past relationships had every really lasted very long save for Palis, the rest had been short and sweet, started hot and heavy without much time to get to know each other and once the heat of fiery passion had burned out there had been nothing left to sustain the relationship and so it had ended as fast as it had started.

With Garak it was different.

Not just because they weren't falling into bed together right away but because they had spent the last few years getting to know each other. 

They had already seen each other at their worst and at their best, they knew each others likes and dislikes, they knew how to push each others buttons for better and for worse, they had started as........well not as friends as such so much as a manipulative ex-spy looking for an easy target and a suspicious but very excited and far too curious for his own good junior officer!. 

They had become friends along the way, learning to trust each other and find their way into each others lives with desire and love slowly forming between them. 

To be headed into this kind of relationship under any circumstances would be frightening enough for anyone but to be doing it following being so severely assulted was extreme to say the least.

So the frown Julian had been wearing almost perpetually was not unusual, except for the fact that more time he spent with Garak the less he was frowning and the more he gained a rather nervous but excitedly happy expression, rather like a teenager who was going on their very first real date had.

Well that was how Miles described it to Keiko who slapped his shoulder and told him to behave and just be happy that Julian was healing.

 

Today however Julian was back to frowning and hunching inwards as he sat in the replimat pushing food about his plate with little interest in actually eating it, and he was sitting alone.

So far Julian had hardly been alone at all since his suicide attempt. Almost all of his meals had been with someone, more often than not with Garak who'd shared at least one meal a day with him for the past few weeks, however right now Julian was alone and looked misrable prompting Sisko to go and join him with his own lunch.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked gesturing to the empty chair 

"Be my guest" Julian said forcing a smile 

Smiling Sisko took the seat and made a show about setting out his plates and cup of coffee making Julian grin 

"You're pretty good at subtlety Sir!" 

"Well I've had a fair bit of practise at it"

"In command?"

"Parenthood!" 

Julian grinned more as the Commander smiled at him "Believe me if you can survive a thirteen year olds hormonal rants then you can survive anything!"

"Ugh puberty!", Julian made a face and groaned dramatically "I never want to go through that nightmare again"

Sisko chuckled "It's certainly a time I'm happy to forget aswell"

"One time I had a row with my parents and spent forty eight hours hiding out in London Underground!"

Julian smirked at the surprised look on Sisko's face "Lots of teens mess about down there. There's a few old trains and carriages that have been abandoned and been pretty much turned into places to crash and party", Julian grinned as he recalled several underage alcohol fueled parties down in Victoria, Tottenham, and one very memorable one at Charing Cross in which he'd ended up stripped to the waist and covered in kohl stick tattoos!.

"And here I thought flunking school to go and watch the Mardi Gras floats being set up in the French Quarter was badass!" Sisko mused "Turns out I'm not that much of a rebel after all!"

"Oh I'll bet you had your moments" Julian said leaning back in his chair and sipping his tea "However" he said "I think you wanted to ask me something"

"Down to business" Sisko said with a nod of his head "Fair enough. I wanted to know if your were alright?"

"Do I look alright?"

"Thats not an answer"

"It is an answer" Julian said "It's a deflective answer, it makes the first person have to back track and start flattering the person they are questioning unless they are looking to risk upsetting them, and while they are back tracking and flattering the person they are question gets to think up an even more effective way to hide whatever is troubling them and the Question goes away defeated".

He shot Sisko a triumphant smirk as the Commander processed that information and shook his head   
"You are spending far too much time with Telenori!" he declared "I'm thinking that you are learning far to much psychology and reverse psychology with him"

"Worried I'm going to learn to much and take over the station with my super Psychology powers!?"

"Super power?"

"Miles is a closet comic book fan!" Julian confessed "Batman, Superman, Suicide Squad, Avengers, etc", he drained his tea "But don't tell him I told you"

"You're secret is safe with me" Sisko promised "But only if you tell me whats bothering you"

Julian shrugged "It's.........well it's Garak"

Now Sisko was on the alert, if that Cardassian was pushing Julian too fast and too far then he'd find his scaled ass doing a 180 out the nearest airlock!

"He's left the station, on business so he says but.......well he never leaves the station unless he's forced because he's got a death sentence hanging over his head" Julian said toying with his fork "And he seemed.........I don't know jumpy, unsettled before he left. Like there was something weighing on his mind"

Sisko frowned, Garak behaving suspiciously usually got his alarm bells ringing, he was after all a likely ex-member of the Obsidian Order so suspicious behavior kind of went hand in hand with him!

"I've got a bad feeling about this" Julian said shaking his head "I can't explain it but it's like.......when you get that heavy feeling in your belly when someone comes up to you with a troubled expression and prepares to deliver bad news, you kind of already know it's coming somehow, some sixth sense alerts you to it"

"I know what you mean" Sisko agreed, what Julian was describing wasn't precognition or any real foresight, it was an intuition that all humans had in one form or another and was certainly very common when it came to people they cared about.

He sighed deeply "Did Garak say where he was going?" 

"No" Julian said then paused with a frown "But he had been spending quite some time at Quarks talking to him...........".

 

**********************************************************************************

Quark was not known for being brave, loyal, or anything other than self serving.

So when pressed for answers by Sisko, Julian, and Odo he folded like damp cardboard in a storm!.

"He wanted revenge!" the Ferengi wailed "He knew that the Cardassian government wouldn't do anything and neither would your precious StarFleet so he decided to take matters into his own hands!"

"What matters Quark?" Odo growled at him 

"Me!" Julian said making all three people look at him, wetting his lips he walked towards Quark who cringed "Garaks going after Dukat for me isn't he?"

"Yes" Quark said "He had me act as go between to help get Dukat some place alone so that Garak could........well.....you know"

"Torture him" Sisko finished a look of disgust on his face, though he could well understand the desire to make Dukat pay his humanity wouldn't condone such an act upon anyone 

"Where is he?" Julian demanded of Quark "He could be in danger, if any of his enemies get to him.........." he broke off and bit into his bottom lip to keep from hyperventilating, Sisko placed a supporting hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently 

"Where is he Quark?" Odo demanded looming over the Ferengi, "You do know if Garak murders Dukat you are an accessorie before and after the fact which will get you a long stretch in prison, and if Garak himself gets killed you will be an accessory to that too!"

Quark glared back at Odo "I want immunity to it all!" he spat "Or I'll tell you nothing"

Odo opened his mouth to speak but Sisko beat him too it

"Done!"

"On a small ship the dark side of Bajor V moon" 

Nodding his head at Odo Sisko tapped Julian's wrist "Lets go!".


	19. Chapter 19

Garak had tired of subjecting Dukat to the cold.

He was well versed enough in torture to know that after a while the same torment ceased to have the desired effect upon the victim. 

They would become used to the sensation, their nerves numbing slightly so the pain lessened.

He did not want Dukat to become numb to pain, he wanted him to suffer every single second of torment as long as he could make it last.

 

Shutting off the cold water and air Garak let Dukat sit and shiver for a while as he gathered the tools he needed for the next stage of Dukat's punishment.

Whistling a terran tune he had heard from one of Julian's rather ecclectic tastes in music knowing that the noise would act as sharply as nails on a chalk board to Dukat's nervous system Garak took his sweet time in collecting his tools and making his way over to the other Cardassian. 

 

Dukat was shivering violently as his body tried to warm it'self up from the intense cold it had been subjected to.   
Try as he might he couldn't help but have his voice tremble as he spoke, his shivering was to violent for him to speak any steadier. 

"Is this the best you can do Tailor!" he spat at him "Make me chilly and irritate me with inane noises?" 

Garak smiled congenially as if he were being asked if there was another shade in a particular suite jacket rather than what he had planned for further torture.

"Oh we have barely started my dear Dukat" he said letting Dukat take a good look at his tools and smiled more when he saw the fear flicker in Dukat's eyes briefly before he clamped down the shutters upon his emotion and became the stoic Gul once more.

"Scale shattering" Dukat gritted out through his clenched teeth "Do your worst!" he sneered, but for all his bravado he couldn't help but clench his fists and shudder as Garak obliged him and placed the small sharp pointed tip of what looked to be a chisel and a small but weighted hammer to tap the chisel into the scales. 

The device while crude looking was actually very well designed in the fact that if placed directly in the centre of the scale it would send fracture lines right through the scale and with a second tap it would shatter the scale completely. 

Scale shattering was exceptionally painful for Cardassians and left their skin vulnerable when exposed. 

Without the protective shell of their scales their flesh had little density and it tore very easily, rather like the flesh of a very elderly person who's skin has been worn down and lacks the protective muscles and fats. 

The thin membrain like seal over their muscles and bones could be damaged with only the smallest amount of pressure and if brutalized as Garak intented to do once he had stripped all the scales from Dukats body the pain was the equivlant of being set on fire without igniting a flame.

"Lets begin then shall we?" Garak said sounding like he was about to hem some pants considering how calm he was. 

With great precision he placed the chisel against Dukat's shoulder blade scale and gave the first tap fracturing the scale and smiling as he heard Dukat give a muffled grunt 

"Brace yourself now" he said preparing for the second tap "This is will hurt...........very much indeed"

Dukat's scream as his scale was shattered and pulled shard by shard from his flesh was a beautiful as an Aria to Garak who savoured each shuddering inhale and explosive exhale as the Gul gave into his agony. 

The next three scales on Dukat followed in the same process and by the fourth Dukat lost all his composure screaming and sobbing in agony and releasing his bladder in the process adding a vile scent to the air that would soon be flavoured with his blood. 

"Anything to say on the subject of Julian Bashir yet?" Garak asked preparing to take the sixth scale

"Go..........fuck..........yourself tailor!" Dukat spat out and howled as the scale was shattered

"How long do you think you can endure this before you break completely?" Garak asked as he proceeded down Dukat's back "Think you'll withstand have all your scales removed from your back?, and your front?, think you'll last to have them pulled off your legs?, and your arms?"

"I'll.....outlast.....you!" Dukat growled 

"Care to place a wager on that?", Garak smirked "No matter" he said "We have a way to go before then, I'm not completely finished with your back yet anyway".

 

Garak spent almost a full half hour stripping Dukat's back of scales before he set aside his chisel and hammer and went to retrieve another impliment which he took great pleasure in unfurling before Dukat to see him cringe.

It was a very simple leather whip.

If cracked against a Cardassian with scales intact they would barely feel it, in fact if it were used on a human it would do no more than bruise the skin. 

But on a Cardassians flesh stripped of it's protective scales it would be both agonising and more than enough to shred the skin down to their bones. 

"You bastard!" Dukat snarled struggling against his bonds in a futile attempt to escape "I should have killed you when I had the chance!" he roared "I should have gutted you and taken pleasure in watching you bleed out!"

"Yes!" Garak breathed hissing as he did "You probably should, but as humans are fond of saying "We all have perfect vision in hindsight".

 

As Garak advansed on him and raised his the whip Dukat roared and pulled frantically on his bonds cursing both vulgarly and colourfully in both English and Cardassian. 

"Thats it Dukat" Garak said pulling the whip back "Give now and open your heart to me so I may shread it as you attempted to do to mine"

Dukat's screeching screams of pain were a balm to Garak's soul, helped in part to make up for the pain he had caused Julian, it didn't make it all better, nothing would make it all better, but this did help to balance the cosmic scales so to speak.

 

Garak did not have to exert himself to cause Dukat to break into sobs, nore to coat himself and the ground in gore, the flesh shredded with hardly any pressure and the tails on the whip easily dug deep through the thin membrane and splattered the ground with blood as Garak brought the whip back and forth enjoying Dukat's broken cries and pleas for him to stop.

"Did Julian beg you to stop?" Garak asked finally throwing down the whip and grabbing Dukat's hair to snap his head back harshly "Did he beg for mercy?, did you stop when he did?, when he was screaming in pain and bleeding all over your cabin?"

"Damn you!" Dukat hissed at him panting heavily 

"You first" Garak sneered flinging Dukat's head back down picked up the hammer and chisel "Your chest and abdomen may provide the first steps to your damnation"

He placed the chisel against Dukat's left pectoral scale and prepared to strike when the hum of a transporter beam stopped him and he turned to see Julian and Sisko materialize.

 

Julian's eyes widdened as he laid them upon the bloodied shaking Dukat and Garak preparing to inflict yet more wounds upon him.

Before Sisko could stop him he was running across the room towards the Cardassians

"Garak stop!" he cried "Stop this now before you kill him!".

 

Had it been anyone else making the demand then Garak would have snapped Dukat's neck out of perversity, however this was not anyone else, it was Julian and Garak couldn't ignore him.

He didn't just throw down the tools either of course but he did pause to listen to what the Doctor had to say.

"Garak please" Julian said stopping just a foot in front of Garak making a great effort to keep his eyes on Garak and not Dukat  
"Don't do this, don't hurt him anymore he isn't worth it!"

"No he isn't" Garak agreed "But you are", he gestured to Dukat "This is for you, justice for what he did to you"

"Justice!?" Dukat laughed mockingly "This is not justice Tailor it's revenge for my fucking your whore!"

"Shut up!" Julian snapped at him 

"Oh you've got your spark back Doctor" Dukat sneered "I thought you left it along with your virtue on my floor!"

A cracking sound followed this and Dukat spat a tooth out at the back of Garak's hand hit his mouth hard 

"You see what he is Julian" Garak said "He feels no remorse for what he did, he cares nothing for the pain he inflicted upon you"

"But you do" Julian said coming closer to Garak and reaching out to touch his face 

"You care about me, about what you do, and thats why I know you are better than this", getting closer to Garak he took hold of the chisel "You don't need to do this for me Garak, it won't change anything, it won't buy back what I've lost, nor will it buy Dukat a conscience", he gave Garak a small smile "I appreciate what you were trying to do here and if I had less of a conscience and less empathy than I do then I would let you continue in this act of retribution, but I am too empathetic to do that"

Garak slowly breathed in and out and smiled himself "If you were less empathetic my dear then you would not be you", letting the hammer fall to the ground he nodded his head "Very well if this is truly what you want..."

"Thats it Garak snap to heel like the trained dog you've become!" Dukat sneered 

"I told you to shut up!" Julian snapped at him 

"You should do as he suggests" Sisko said crossing the room now and releasing Dukat from his bonds allowing him to fall to the ground in a heap, "If not for the good Doctor's decision to come here and stop Garak then I think I would have turned a blind eye and let him have his way with you, because God knows you deserve it"

"He has a comunicator in the adjoining room" Garak stated to Sisko "He can call for help with it you need not take him on your Runabout"

"Good" Sisko said "Because I wasn't going to!".


	20. Chapter 20

DS9

They went back to Julian's quarters as soon as they returned to the station. 

Julian was silent while Garak took a shower and changed clothes, disposed of the blood from his skin and the staining on his clothing, Dukat's stains, Dukats suffering, Dukat's penance for all he had done to Julian. 

One he had finished cleaning up and had slipped into a replicated robed Garak stalked back into the sitting where Julian was lounging on the couch sipping whiskey from a tumbler. On the coffee table there was a glass of kannar that Garak gratefully picked up and drank down.

"It ends here" Julian said making Garak pause and frown at the statement 

Julian looked up at Garak his brown eyes open and warm but his expression resolute   
"Everything with Dukat ends here" he stated "It can not continue, everything he did, everything you've done, all of it is over and finished"

Ah, so thats what he meant, Garak drew a deep breath and sat down on the sofa besides Julian, not quite touching him but close enough to do so with only the slightest of moves 

"Yes" he said drawing out the word and the S in a his "It is done with now"

"It has to be" Julian said turning so he could look Garak in the eye "Relationships are built on trust and I need to trust you, trust that you won't lie to me or do anything like this again"

Garak leaned forward placing a hand on Julian's knee and the other cupped his face "I swear to you beloved nothing like this will ever happen again"

Smiling slight Julian inclined his head and leaned into Garak's embrace initiating a long and gentle kiss that grew more empassioned at the end as he nipped Garak's bottom lip with his teeth 

"Careful" Garak cautioned with a growl "My self control has it's limits"  
Julian huffed a laugh his warm breath tickling Garak's scales "I'm counting on it!" he breathed running a hand up Garak's torso "I want you, I want you to make love to me"

Garak smiled pulling Julian closer and kissing him hungrily and allowed his cock to start peaking out of it's sheeth   
"Are you sure?" he growled "Because once we start, once I carry you into your bedroom I doubt very much that I can stop"

"Like a bride over the threshold" Julian giggled "Please!, make me your bride!".

 

******************************************************************************

Four Years Later

 

Of course nothing is ever that simple.

Julian and Garak had made love that night. 

Garak had been as tender and gentle as his physiology and nature would allow, Julian had relaxed as much as he could, though he had soon lost himself in pleasure as Garak had used his mouth upon him and drawn the first of many orgasms from him. 

When he had entered Julian's body the first time Julian had been still coming back down from the relaxed bliss of his climax and had quickly been swept up in the returned passions that Garak brought them both too. 

They had made love three times that night and Julian had lost himself in the heady bliss of the honeymoon period which had not faded until three months later when Tain had made his suicidal move against the Dominion.

Garak's actions during that time did nothing to help his relationship with Julian which fell apart soon there after and Julian, (for a time at least) took up with one of Quarks Dabo girls. 

Garak watched this while seething with jealousy, a jealousy he tried to visit back on Julian by a misguided fling with Dukat's bastard daughter Ziyal, another relationship that was doomed to fail. 

 

After the death of Ziyal and the revelations of Julian's genetic enhancements along with all out war with the Dominon the two had slowly but surely found themselves falling back in love. 

At first it was just sex, a way of releaving tension, then gradually it became something more, and finally after the Dominion had been defeated, Dukat and his regime on Cardassia had been purged Julian and Garak stood before an officiate and their friends on DS9 along with Julian's parents as they took their vows to each other.

Cardassians did not exchange rings but humans did and Garak had no qualms about wearing a token of Julian's love on his hand, the vows were a perfect mix of human and Cardassian making their union binding in both their cultures as did the kiss and the linking of their hands and fingers as they were declared married.

"Well we got here at last!" Julian said ducking his head and grinning as O'Brien and Keiko showered them in rice and confetti "And now we have another adventure ahead of us"

"Hm" Garak sighed "Rebuilding Cardassia", he frowned "I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a diplomat"

"Maybe not" Julian agreed "But you're a tailor, you can alter everything to fit!"

"Cheeky!" Garak chuckled clasping Julian tight about the hips "But with a good Doctor at my side I am sure I can never do ill!

"C'mon you two!" Ezri called "You can save the canoodling for your honeymoon right now theres cake!"

Garak rose his eyes while Julian shrugged "No rest for the wicked"

"No" Garak agreed letting Julian go to join the Trill "But plenty of pleasure yet to be had I should reckon".


End file.
